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Angels V Devils!

During the off season every single player of 24 Carrow Gold undertook intensive anger management therapy in order to reduce the number of cards they received.  Obviously the angelic Canagoon, manager of the team was exempt!  The idea was to turn her lads into a bunch of angels..

Vision of my angelic lads!!

Well, Canagoon announced today that the intensive anger management therapy was a resounding… failure!!

The reality of my lads!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the first game of the season yesterday the players got 4 yellows, in 1 game.. 1 game!!

One of the yellow cards brandished at my lads.. All 4 couldn't fit in :-(

Canagoon was postively seething after the game and gave her lads a good walloping around the lug holes to show her disgust at their behaviour.  She is also at a complete loss as to how to proceed.  “This is the 2nd course of anger management that the team has undertaken and still they are brutish thugs” explained Canagoon in dismay.  “I really don’t know where they get such behaviour or ideology from.  I mean, I am a gentle kind soul who offers nothing but praise and encouragement.”

“However, I will not give up, my lads will one day be angels, I am sure of it.  Whether they will be the same lads as now is another matter, but I am determined to get rid of this thuggish reputation that my team have earned themselves.”

 

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The case of the crystal ball and the drop dead gorgeous gal!!

Well, now the new season is upon us, it is time for the competitions to get started.

Canagoon had superglued her backside to the top of the GMC casino table last season, but using nefarious means Nat the Rat unglued her and she fell off!!

The nefarious means in question involve a crystal ball.  Nat uses it to predict his scores!!

"Nat's crystal ball"

So, not being one to give in quietly, Canagoon decided to use nefarious means of her own.  Namely womanly charms.. nope not her own, but those of a drop dead gorgeous gal.

Unfortunately Nat’s helper was IdentityShaker who stole it and put it under lock and key, so now the drop dead gorgeous gal has 2 minds (well, I am trying to be polite) to distract!!

If the drop dead gorgeous gal don't do it, Pippa's bum will!!

 

"Look into my eyes- oi they ain't my eyes"

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, this is the unveiling of the drop dead gorgeous gal who is gonna get my crystal ball and allow me to hire the services of a drop dead gorgeous guy to rub superglue on my backside to make sure I don’t fall off the top of the table!!

Cana's slave - oops I mean drop dead gorgeous guy!!!

"Now where is that table?"

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24 Carrow Gold Carry the Cup Home!!

Well, we won a cup game, so I guess we can say we carried it home for 7 days….

“No you can’t ya daft apeth, we just won a game” growled the evil Mr B!!

“Shut it, you miserable old curmudgeon” – Canagoon growled back!!

Now, where was I!! Ah yes, we have the cup for one week!  My lads did really well in that game last night and we won 6-0.  Ok, so the team was a bot and well, didn’t really do anything, but still a win is a win!!

Now onto next week, the opponent is a pesky human!  However, before we even consider that game we have to have our first league game (yay)!!

We played Brun’s Allstars last season, and against all odds won a game, after the ME ate too many sprouts and baked beans.  So, Canagoon is trotting off to Tesco in a little while to stock up on said products and force feed the ME!! So hopefully my cunning plan will work!

Food for the ME thought!!

More food for the ME thought!!

But, all of 24 Carrow Gold is incredibly happy this morning, cos the whole team can put their footie boots back on and their snazzy kits and start playing footie again, instead of sitting in the pub getting bladdered!!  Hmm, on second thoughts, maybe a trip to the Priory might be required in the next few days!!

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Filleth thy cupeth!!

Well the cup starts next week and 24 Carrow Gold’s manager Canagoon shared her thoughts for the start of the campaign!!

“We have never been particularly successful in the cup” – explained Canagoon.  “The furthest we have reached is round 3- However, this season we hope to move up at least one round to 4. The main problem is that we focus on our league games, which for the long term seems the best strategy!!  However, we are determined to do better.”

Filleth thy cupeth!!

 

The evil Mr B also had a word or two to say about the cup.  “I bloody love the cup” growled Evil Mr B.  “It is the only time that manager of ours lets me loose on the pitch”

The evil Mr B feeling the full force of the Canagoon slap!!

“Ouch, what the feck was that for?”complained evil Mr B, rubbing his head!!

“That was for moaning about me, think yourself dam lucky I even let you stay in the team, let alone play” shouted Canagoon

“ungrateful little so and so” mumbled Canagoon under her breath.

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Drinks, Nibbles and Hammocks!!

Well, Canagoon and her merry men are at their wits end. Well the merry men aren’t at their wits end, they are still drunken and celebrating staying up in V!!!
It is Canagoon that is at her wits end. Unlike Delia and her merry men, she isn’t a drunken lush so has nothing to do.
And well, let’s just say the thought of sitting there listening to Delia repeat her “Let’s be avin'” you speach is not appealing.
Canagoon tried to tip NatTheRat out of the hammock so she could have a kip for 2 weeks and be served drink and munchies, but he tipped her back out again and she landed on her backside in a heap!!

Servant's - Where are my drinks and nibbles?

Not much is happening at the club,everything is in place for next season and it is just a case of waiting!
The only excitement is the visit of IDshaker to Carra Rud. Oooh that reminds me, I had better sober up the lads for the game tomorrow! –

“OI, You bunch of drunken reprobates, *cough* I mean darlings- get your backsides into the gym and get some coffee down ya!! We have a dammed important game tomorrow and you need to be in tip top shape!!” Yelled Canagoon through the bar doors!!

24 Carrow Roads Star Players

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Where have my angels gone?

Ok, so my team has never exactly been angelic but after their thuggish start to my HT career things have gone decidedly downhill.

For the last 2  seasons I put them through vigorous anger management courses and it seemed to do the trick.  They were well behaved, well compared to usual.

This season however, in 2 consecutive league games they get 3 red cards!! 3! Does anger management expire after a certain time?

So, back to the drawing board we go.  And back to the anger management classes for my little devils!

Their halo’s have been removed and put in storage and I have given them a good hiding!! Discipline violence is fine! :-)

Personally, I blame the downfall into devilism on Andre Barros! That man has been nothing but trouble since I bought him!

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Goodbye VI.418. Hello V.202

Canagoon and her merry lads said goodbye to VI.418 this afternoon. Canagoon said " We will miss VI.418 and in particular Gibbos who we had some good banter with, and we wish them luck in the new season, and hope they promote next season"
Canagoon also heaped out the praises to her little darlings and said that she was so proud that they had managed to promote depsite some hiccups on the way.
However, she was also very realistic in saying that there was alot of work that needs doing to ensure we give ourselves the best chance in V. It is going to be tough, and in our fight, we will have to bring in some new players to reinforce the team.
Delia raised her sherry glass and shouted"Let's be avin' ya 24 Carrow Gold", just before the paramedics stretchered her off the pitch!!!