Odense Player Makes Controversial Comment!
Gee, that’s never happened before… 
MS Odense Youth Player Nicklas Bruus, moments after delivering his comments to the Guardian Express.
With the Golden League finals looming and MS Odense v Bellevue Barrage confirmed as the first fixture, an alarming number of eyes were directed to Pockmark Road, home of the Bellevue Battery Youth Academy.
In what was billed as an appetiser before the main course in two weeks, The Battery met the visiting MS Odense U18.
In the end, a competitive 3-5 scoreline (with the home team surging to score the last three goals) was enough to see the visitors secure promotion and win their second division HTUM Youth League title.
Jeffry Jacob, Bellevue Battery Coach
“I’m happy for them” Battery coach Jeffry Jacob told international reporters after the match.
“They clearly wanted to win this game and I’m sure their boys will treasure their trophies.”
Jacob was quick to reaffirm the purpose of the Battery however;
“As always, our focus is on developing talent for the senior team. Keep your eyes on Riley Mansfield and Neil Holden. Both should be promoting soon – and I think they’re ready.”
The next day, after comments from Odense players and staff emerged in the Guardian Express, the response was less diplomatic.
The comments, which likened the Oceanic’s team’s ‘struggle’ to a 2CV going uphill, prompted a flurry of keyboard-clacking from Oceanic journalists, who had no idea what a 2CV was.
This is a Citroen 2CV, as driven by James Bond. Yep, it’s certainly the first thing that comes to mind, when I think about Oceanic football.
This in turn, was followed by a further struggle to comprehend what an underpowered European umbrella had to do with a youth team, that finished their game by scoring the last three goals.
Light was shed on our long-suffering media scrum, when it was revealed that the commenting player, Nicklas Bruus, was likely drunk.
And so, the Bellevue response, delivered by the probably-sober Bellevue Manager, BrinChaser;
“Jeff’s right, they’d better value those trophies – because for those Odense boys – once they’re seventeen – it’s straight out the door and onto the transfer market. Almost none of them will make a mark for the team they supposedly train for.”
“It’s quite simple-” the Manager continued. “We train our boys to be members of a senior team. OUR senior team. I’m sure Odense will be much happier in Division One, where they can compare notes with all of the other money-grubbing clubs that value results over community.”
Strong words. But that wasn’t all.
“When you walk into the Armoury stadium, the only trophy you’ll see is for the senior team. It’s the only trophy we want. It’s what our boys aspire to from the time they first kick a ball, not to be bundled off and sold to teams in nations where they don’t speak the language, don’t know the players and can’t remain near their families.”
“Our trophy cabinet- is our senior team” the increasingly agitated Manager said, before counting off the names of his senior promotees on his fingers.
“Rapid, Turagabea, Filipovic, Van Cao, Cartledge, Paokis, Tai, Nawunmien, Whittaker, Rae and uh… Vaughan and McWilliams! (the Manager had to use his toes to continue counting) – These are our successes”
“They’ve made the finals of the Golden League and they’ve done it with their own colours, for their own region, their own team.”
The tremulous voice of a local reporter inquired -”If you don’t care about the youth scorelines – why are you so angry?”
Barry, the Club Reporter.
“YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I’M ANGRY!” he bellowed at Barry, the Club Reporter – who’d had the temerity to interrupt.
“What are Nicklas Bruus’s parents going to think?! Booze smuggled into the changerooms? Let’s pretend they don’t know that soliciting a 16 year old is illegal in this region – what sort of habits is this supposedly ‘professional’ club allowing and what behaviour are they encouraging? Supporting drunken comments in the press?”
When asked what he thought would happen to Bruus, the Manager made it clear that he would not be seeking sanction against his Danish rivals, but continued;
“They’ll simply use up Bruus like they used up everyone else in their failed ‘Youth’ program. I’ve been told they have three homegrown players in their starting lineup. That’s great. In this week’s Golden League match, I had *six*, with three more ready to play as substitutes.”
When asked whether the existing rivalry with MS Odense could be influencing his opinons, the Bellevue Manager was unequivocal.
“Actually, if you think back to what started this ‘rivalry’ between our two clubs, it was the smart-alec comments from the aptly-named Sami Arsal. Who does he play for anyway? Because last I checked – it wasn’t Odense!”
Sami ‘Psycho’ Arsal, clearly enraptured with his new posting.
“In fact-” the manager persisted, spittle-flying – “Sami Arsal isn’t even on the current page of Odense’s transfer history. Way to support your team mouthpiece.”
“But when it comes to Bellevue – I am my team mouthpiece.”
“So anyway, by the time that saga was over, we had a new Golden League council – with an elected Oceanic President. How quickly we forget the consequences of a few foolish words!”
After taking a deep breath, he continued.
“It’s symptomatic of what this Golden League Quarter-Final is all about.”
“Do you have to buy success, or can you earn it? Can you build a community – or do you have to leech off of one?”
“Let me give you a hint. This week, MS Odense celebrated their fifth year in competition. Well done, it’s a great achievement – and they made the Golden League finals.”
“Bellevue are playing in the same match – and we’ve been playing for less than five seasons“.
“So now, they can enjoy their week off – we’re going to give this final the preparation it deserves, with a competitive match against Kludden’s Rising Vikings.”
