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Our Cup Runneth Over Expectations!

Aww Yeah.

Aww Yeah.

In what was surely the biggest match in our club’s history, the Bellevue (pronounced ‘Bell-view’) Barrage hosted Pacific Premier heavyweights Bondi 1893 (Team ID: 418403) in the fourth round of the Oceanic Cup. (Match ID: 525916167)

Sixty thousand fans flocked to The Armoury to see the highly fancied Division One team strut their stuff against the well supported, but poorly backed home-grown squad.

The neutrals were not disappointed, as both managers named attacking 2-5-3 lineups, Bellevue going so far as to instruct their team to ‘play creatively’ in an attempt to steal a march on their more fancied opposition.

bondibendakExpectations among Bellevue fans were low. These expectations appeared justified when Bondi midfielder Jiří Bendák burst through the Barrage defence and converted with a spectacular piece of skill in the 29th minute.

A rout was on the cards as Kazakh national Kadyrzhan “Mad Dog” Sugraliev exploited a loss of concentration in the very next passage of play – punishing the Bellevue Central Defence with a cannonball of a shot into the top right corner – 0-2!bondisugraliev

As both sides headed into the change rooms at half time, Bondi having also held the majority of possession, the game appeared all but lost.

After all, Bondi are three-time winners of the Oceanic Cup. And Four-time winners of the Pacific Premier, one of the most competitive top-flight leagues in the world.

Here is Bellevue’s prize tally so far;

We put those tassles on ourselves.

We had to put those tassles on ourselves. Is anyone good with knots?

Hall of Famer, Gilbert Barron

Bellevue Hall of Famer, Gilbert Barron

The Bellevue’s Bugle’s Gilbert Barron was calling the match for a local TV affiliate when the teams resumed play.

“Van Cao clears the ball from Central Defence, controlled on the chest by May. May feeds Tuqiri, who plays a DYNAMITE ball through onto the feet of the onrushing Akhade. He gathers, strikes- GOOOOAL! Bellevue pull one back in the 56th minute.”

More drama was to erupt as Barrage central midfielder David May, this time on the receiving end of an excellent passing chain – blew the game open in the 68th minute with a cool finish that defied all talent and probability.

Inconceivably, Bellevue had drawn level!

This prompted the Bondi Manager DrLot to make two quick substitutes, Central Forward Carlo Bigagli making way for Dario Bolender and Right Winger Sammy Phillips replacing Dirk Dogan. These changes however, didn’t change the score as the minutes ticked away.

“The Barrage fans are going nuts- the neutrals are going nuts- and we’re going nowhere – it’s extra time!”

By this stage, other managers and media outlets in the Oceanic region were taking notice.

bondizoot1Back on the pitch, Bondi were still making the running, with Łukasz Guła on the left wing making an audicious long shot attempt that only missed the target by a few meters.

Central Defender and Captain, Co Van Cao attemtpted to take matters into his own hands, charging into the box as part of another desperate attack. The box was overloaded as the two Bondi defenders tried to mark the four Bellevue attackers when…



Van Cao was down, clutching his leg, Bondi Defender Leone Musumeci looking bemused, then horrified as the 84 year old (I’m not making this up, player ID: 7833676) Swedish Referee Elliot Wallkvist pointed to the spot – Penalty!

As the homegrown talisman placed the ball  – Forward Cody Lancaster made a quick run to the sidelines to receive instructions.

Van Cao made no mistake, blasting the ball into the bottom left – sending Oceania into overdrive.


Bondi players could be seen remonstrating with the referee right up to the restart, replays showing a foreign object impacting the play in the box.

The alarmingly experienced Wallkvist waved the Bondi protests aside, reportedly telling one to “Get off his lawn”.

Bellevue had been busy, with Lancaster relaying the Manager’s instructions to his jubilant teammates.

In the 105th minute, Bellevue made a flurry of tactical changes, with Left Winger Kosta ‘Krush’ Filipovic dropping back into Left Back, Right Winger Sofoklis Paokis dropping into Right Back and Lancaster moving into the vacant Right Winger position.


Bellevue’s 2-5-3 had become a 4-4-2.

In the cupset of the season ( so far), Bellevue held off the Marauding Bondi for the remaining 15 minutes, securing the 3-2 win in extra time.

Getting his just desserts!

Getting his just desserts!

Manager BrinChaser was ebullient with the result – and with the reaction from his players after conceding two early goals.

“So much credit has to go to the players. Every player on tonight’s team was a graduate of the Bellevue Battery Youth Academy. They were playing in front of their families and their fans.

The belief in the squad is amazing – they have so much heart!”

The intimidating atmosphere in the Bellevue stadium was also given due credit.

60,000 people for a midweek game is unbelieveable, and will ensure this academy stays open for years to come. We can’t wait for next week

Who are we facing next week?




Positively Divine!

New Strategy: Same as the Old Strategy!

ATTAAAAACK the middle

…in the middle


After an extended hiatus away from the Media, Fans, and possibly his Shaving Razor, Bellevue Manager BrinChaser emerged in the stands for his teams vital away fixture against emerging title contenders FC Alowa Do. And as he told the press gallery at halftime, he had been busy.

brinchaseravatarbeardBrinChaser: Guys! Guys, I’ve been busy!

barronreporterGilbert Barron (Bellevue Bugle): What the heck is that on your face?

BrinChaser: What?

Gilbert Barron: That brown thing, on your face.

Brin Chaser: Oh! I was just having an Icecream.

brinchaseravataricecreamBrinChaser: So, anyway, I’ve spent the last few seasons honing my long-term strategy.

GB: Some would say you’ve been passing time.

BC: They’d be right! We’ve spent time passing!

GB: …What?

BC: Three seasons. Training nothing but passing.

GB: Your team looks more like it’s passing out.

BC: Fitness is overrated.

GB: How much do you rate it?

BC: About five percent.

The Bellevue Manager seized the stunned silence, to turn up his matchday radio.

“The second half is underway, Bellevue with a slender 1-0 lead against what seems to be a much fresher Alowa Do side – expect a strong finish from the home team.

charmawawinaCharmawawina in central midfield passes to his captain Gambhir.

Shoots like a uh, Midfielder!

Gambhir passes to Filipovic on the Wing – he’ll be keen to add to his goal in the first half.

Bellevue Enforcer and Talisman

Filipovic bludgeons his marker off the ball – Referee Amando Luz keeps the whistle down, as ‘Kosta Krush’ nudges the ball forward to the waiting feet of the youngster Joshua Kimera.







Miss it!

Miss it!

Kimera jukes left, right, left, right and releases!

cassany…into the chest of Cassany, formerly of Rochdale United. He takes it cleanly, pivots and shoo- no wait – is that a backheel?

charmawawinaBack to Charmawawina in central midfield. That was odd.

Completely ineffective, but that looked amazing- and now Alowa are back on the ball

GB: That was tactically…

BC: …Divine?

GB: I’d say pointless. That made no sense.

BC: Have you ever seen a football team win without passing?

GB: I’ve certainly never seen a team win without shooting.

BC: It’s all part of the plan. All of the pieces are falling into place.

Final Result: FC Alowa Do 1 : 1 Bellevue Barrage