The Blog Wars Archive

10

A Championship Won – Everything else still up for grabs!

In their tenth HT-season, the Falcons brought home their fourth title in style, overwhelming South Moravian side FC Uplakánci 7-1 on Saturday last. The game saw Dutch forward, Merijn ‘Poliorcetes’ Esseling score the very first hattrick of his already illustrious career. Other Falcon stalwarts also got their names on the board, including the marvellous midfield duo of Mikhail Llosa and Manuele Prestandrea. With only a single game left in the league, the Falcons now have a four point advantage, guaranteeing them the title after three seasons in Division V.

João Portugal

The post-game celebrations in an almost sold out Falcon Nest (with 37.821 fan present) – the 179 empty seats apparently belonging to a small number of dissatisfied fans, unhappy with recent developments and decisions taken by the Falcon managerial board regarding the future of Brazilian coach João Portugal, the man responsible for the Falcon titles in divisions six (season 48) and five (season 51) – were extremely intense yet incredibly brief. Falcon manager H70 was seen sipping the tiniest glass of Moravian Sauvignon before ushering his team into the cloakroom to start preparations for the most important part of the season.

The past season can easily be described as the Falcons’ best ever – next to the Division V title, the Falcons also won season six of the HTUM Challenge Trophy and finished in the semi-finals of the seventh season of said tournament, falling only to I-League powerhouse Langer House, while the Falcon Fledglings brought home the HTUM U18 Championship and the HTUM Youth Cup. The most crucial games of the season still lie in the weeks ahead and hence the final analysis and evaluation of the past season will only be made in two weeks time (one never knows who might actually read the Falcon blog!).

Manager Politzia

In the league, direct promotion to Division IV appears as distant and unreal as a mirage in the desert, leaving the only available road to a higher division through a win in an away qualifier in a fortnight. At least if not even more important is the upcoming midweek home game in the Golden League as the Falcons host the knights of Rochdale United in the quarterfinals. Rochdale manager Politzia, in a recent interview, left little doubt that he will send his strongest eleven on the field come Wednesday, making the final result anything but a certainty.

Prague: Proud Host of the Golden League Quarterfinals!

 

H70, before setting of with the team to locations unknown, had only this to say: “Rochdale’s defence and goalkeeper are the stuff legends are made of. Anyone who watched their performance against the offensive power of FCOB Kamenice in the previous round must have been extremely impressed. At the Falcons we do a lot of things, we chat, we blog, we drink and party – but there’s one thing we don’t do – ever – we don’t go down without a fight! WE DIE HARD!”

It’s the Falcons versus Rochdale United, on Wednesday April 24, at 14.00. Only on HT!

2

The Blog Wars XV – The Return of Baad MB!

A year and half a moon cycle ago, back in the day when the Blog Wars had only barely begun, the HTUM federation had not yet seen the light of day and only a few games in the Golden League had been played, the Falcons took to the air and travelled to Lothian, surprisingly armed with all of Ian Rankin’s Inspector Rebus novels.

In between the GL opening game against the Flaming Wodkas of Lee and MS Odense of Hojris, on August 3, 2011, the team took down Scottish side Baad MB of manager Chill125, one of the earliest supporters of the Falcon team. This mid-week, after an absence of almost five months, the Blog Wars return as the Falcons go once more head to head with Baad MB – and a message left in the Falcon’s guestbook by Chill125 leaves no doubt that the Scottish side is looking to take revenge following the Falcons 1-4 win in Edinburgh last year.

Of all the Falcons bound to take the field this Wednesday afternoon, only five of the fourteen players that travelled to Scotland over a year ago remain with the team: goalkeeper Kryštof Martinek, defenders Ladislav Hašek and Pacia Tarrats and strikers Thore Kolbenschmidt and Savvas Kolevas. The heart of the team in midfield is completely new and unfamiliar with our Scottish foe, but the Falcons nevertheless intend to go all out to deny their opponent the satisfaction of revenge – and the weather is going to be a major factor, given that the current temperature in Prague reaches about 35 degrees centigrade!

How is this important? “Revenge is a dish best served cold” the already age-old saying goes! “Gazpacho?!?” – The Ace shouted out during the initial tactical pre-game meeting on Sunday – “I thought it was a typical Spanish dish, not a Scottish weapon aimed at Falcon mass destruction!”

Will the Falcons be forced to gulp down Gazpacho by the dozen for dinner on Wednesday evening? It’s the Falcons versus Baad MB at the Falcon Nest on Wednesday August 22, at 14.00 HT-time!

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1

The Blog Wars XIV – The Prodigal Son

Hundreds of Falcon fans spent the night camping in front of the ticket office at The Falcon Nest. The first in line had even two rough nights under their belt, having set up tent and bbq-set immediately following the Falcon 7-1 home win against MH Rook Team on Saturday. The long queues of impatient fans seemed to stretch almost to the horizon when the ticket offices finally opened doors at lunch time today as no true Falcon fan intended to miss the upcoming Golden League encounter.

This Wednesday afternoon the Falcons host – for the first time in history – the winner of the inaugural season of the internationally renowned Golden League: Poland’s Krosnianka Karpaty Krosno (KKK) of the Subcarpathian Voivodeship. The GL trophy will moreover be on view in the team’s clubhouse several hours prior to the game, courtesy of KKK’s cordial manager Hubeq. But it is not only the Golden League Trophy and Winner that has inspired a relentless rush for tickets among Falcon fanatics. With the Falcons leaving on the “Falcon Tour of Wonders” at the weekend (more information later), this is the last Golden League home game of the only barely started season. The Falcon Nation has yet one more reason to look forward with great anticipation to the oncoming game: representing KKK in defence is none other than former Falcon Petr Čekal – returning to the Falcon Nest for the first time as an opponent. For five long seasons Petr Čekal was the Falcon stronghold in defence until his transfer to KKK almost a season and a half ago. His farewell game against India’s Langer House, another Golden League power house, saw the highest attendance ever at the Falcon Nest for a friendly fixture – for the first time in Falcon history more than 4000 supporters showed up in the stands. The current manic scuttle for tickets suggest that Petr Čekal has been far from forgotten and that no fan wants to pass up on the opportunity to see him gracefully soar through the air once more.

Petr Čekal

At the Falcon press conference earlier this afternoon, several questions touched upon the subject whether Falcon coach João Portugal was at all aware of the danger Petr Čekal poses – seeing that the coach had arrived to take control of the Falcons only after Petr had left for Poland. Coach Portugal had this to say on the matter: “The Falcons have been closely following Petr’s career in Krosno. Not only is he one of the three players listed in the unofficial Falcon Hall of Fame, but almost every single game he has played for KKK has been a Golden League game – so we’ve had him on our radar almost continuously. Moreover, there are enough older players around, like his fellow defender Josef Motyčák, who remember what a threat Petr can be during corners and free kicks. He did not score 25 goals in 85 games for the Falcons as a defender by mere coincidence! Petr might not be as fast as before at the age of 31, but he still has that great timing that sets him apart from many other head-specialists. We are seriously considering double-teaming him during standard situations, with young Sergiy Golenko (18) defending him up-close and “The Ace” trying to distract him with his antics. That is, if I can communicate the concept of double-teaming to “The Ace” in an understandable manner before Wednesday’s game…”.

It’s the Falcons versus KKK (and Petr Čekal), this Wednesday March 28, at 14.00 at the Falcon Nest!

5

The Blog Wars XIII – “Operation Greenhouse”

MiB’s (“Men in Black”) were spotted at the Falcon Nest late last night, whisking away some of the team management prior to the club’s journey to the Polish capital of Warsaw – the setting for the upcoming Golden League encounter between the Falcons and the Warsaw Scousers of manager Majeque. Following a short drive through inner city Prague the management was discreetly yet urgently deposited at the Czech Ministry of Foreign Affairs on Prague’s Castle Hill. No foreign department officials awaited the Falcons upon their arrival, but rather members of the Bezpečnostní informační služba (BIS or the ‘Czech Security Information Service’) and the Státní úřad pro jadernou bezpečnost (SÚJB or ‘State Office for Nuclear Safety’).

With the trip to Warsaw only hours away, the Falcon management received in the utmost secrecy vital information on what is supposedly hidden beneath the Greenhouse Arena of the Warsaw Scousers. The name of the Scousers’ stadium – nomen omen – allegedly refers to the famousOperation Greenhouse – the designation of the fifth US nuclear test series or the first to test principles that would eventually lead to the development of thermonuclear weapons (hydrogen bombs). The main aim of these tests was to reduce the size, weight, and most importantly, the amount of fissile material necessary for nuclear weapons, while increasing the destructive power. The tests took place on the Enewetok Atoll (Marshall Islands) in the Pacific and were generally thought to have concluded back in 1951. It has however long been whispered in the shady corridors of power that the project secretly continued, but only recently some evidence surfaced indicating that by all accounts ‘Operation Greenhouse’ had found a home in Warsaw following the inclusion of Poland into NATO in 1999.

Paweł Uszok - A Nuclear Threat?

According to the SÚJB bureaucrats, the Scousers’ Greenhouse Arena (cap. 39.000) is built on top of a huge underground complex of testing areas and laboratories. It is rumoured that Paweł Uszok, the talented and powerful Scousers inner midfielder, is in fact experimenting with a new and highly reduced nuclear weapon hidden in the tip of his right booth. The small load allegedly adds extra strength to his already legendary kicks. BIS officials moreover informed the Falcon management that they had overheard conversations between members of the Scousers’ board which place the recent dismissal of Scousers coach Dawid Stańko in an entirely different light. The many conflicts between the coach and team manager Majeque, even fought out on the Scousers’ team blog on HTU, might in fact have nothing to do with the team’s performance, but rather with Stańko’s incapability of solving the many problems associated with the miniaturization and performance of this nuclear weapon in Uszok’s boot. It is a public secret that Stańko’s successor, Belgian coach Timo De Quint, has a PhD in unclear nuclear physics from a well-renowned US university…

In order to survive this encountered unharmed, the Falcon players have been issued the most up-to-date anti-nuclear shin pads to avoid getting into close physical contact with this ominous boot. The team was concomitantly equipped with the latest in sensor technology in order to measure the slightest form of nuclear activity released whenever Paweł Uszok’s boot and ball connect.

Will the Falcons discover the truth about what lies beneath the Greenhouse Arena in Warsaw? It promises to be an explosive game, this Wednesday evening at 18.05 HT-time, when the Falcons face the Scousers in Warsaw!

12

The Blog Wars XII – A Romanian Rhapsody (in Blue and Gold)

Twelve long weeks! That’s eighty-four days or almost a quarter of a year – a devastating long time since the Falcons last participated in the prestigious Golden League. Last February the team that had featured in the very first GL game in history had to watch from the sidelines as the first season came to its conclusion. But these last few days the Falcon Nest has been once again abuzz with activity. The stadium has been scrubbed, renovated and expanded (to 34.000 seats); long queues of Falcon fans could be seen at the ticket offices in eager anticipation; the staff at the refreshment stands have been working full out to enlarge the already wide range of international specialities to be offered to the delicate palate of the fans; and the players could be observed walking about the grounds with a spring to their step.

Spring time has indeed arrived to the south-eastern outskirts of Prague and after months of wandering through the desert, the team has finally come home – to stay. This upcoming Wednesday afternoon, the Falcons will once again participate in the greatest competition on Hattrick. The Golden League has returned – bigger and better than ever – for season #2!

The Blue Hornets of Iaşi, Romania, a.k.a. FC X-Team of manager Xuturo, are the first opponent in what promises to be a long list of Golden League clashes these next months. The Blue-and-Gold Hornets are hard to read – but as previous clashes between the youth academies of both teams in the second division of the HTUM leagues have shown, the games featuring the Hornets and the Falcons are anything but dull. The Hornets are known for their occasional daring creative style, for instance in their game against Indian powerhouse Langer House – or as recently appointed Falcon coach, Brazilian João Portugal, put it during this weekend’s press conference: “The Hornets are like a piece of modern music; sometimes it screeches, sometimes their creative movements on the field bring you to tears. They are like a rhapsody: a one-movement work that is episodic yet integrated, free-flowing in structure, featuring a range of highly contrasted moods, colour and tonality. An air of spontaneous inspiration and a sense of improvisation make it freer in form than a set of variations”. It took the numerous reporters present, used to the no-nonsense style press conferences of previous coach David Gelmirez – currently in the employment of the Falcons arch rival Renaissance FC in Poland – a few moments to grasp what exactly was hidden between these lines.

In the end, only one thing truly matters: on Wednesday March 14, at 14.00 HT-time, the Falcons host the Blue Hornets, marking their debut in GLS2!