The Darkness Archive

6

The Ghost and The Darkness

‘The Darkness’

At a press conference late last night, after darkness had fallen over the city of Prague and not even a stray dog dared to venture out to harass a cat or two, the Falcon management presented to the gathered members of the media the youngest addition to the Falcon team: Daniel Rolník, also known to his team mates and the coaching staff as ‘The Darkness’.

Turned 17 only a few days ago, Daniel Rolník spent the last five months honing his skills and perfecting his talents among the Falcon Fledglings in the top division of the HTUM fed leagues. The technically gifted youngster played a total of 28 games for the Fledglings – both on the wing as in midfield – scoring 7 times and being voted ‘Fledgling of the Game’ on 8 occasions.

The Ghost and The Darkness
The 2012 Version

Daniel ‘The Darkness’ Rolník will be the first Fledgling to join the Falcon team since Oldřich ‘The Ghost’ Páleník (21), this season a steadfast presence in the Falcon defense in the league (and in midfield during Golden League games), did so three seasons ago. The hope of the Falcon nation is upon these two graduates of the Fledgling Academy as they are expected to dominate the Falcon midfield in the seasons to come. While ‘The Ghost’ took his time to find his place in midfield and defense, ‘The Darkness’ already comes with solid skills in midfield and on the wing.

The Ghost and The Darkness
The 1898 Version

At the press conference last evening, the spokesperson for the Falcon management expressed the hope that both players will soon be roaming the field like the original ‘The Ghost and the Darkness’, perhaps best known from the historical adventure movie of the same name (based on historical events that took place in 1898). The latter features two ferocious lions roaming the savannah that, having been forced to witness the particularly poor acting of Michael Douglas and Val Kilmer for days on end, go absolutely berserk and on a rampage tearing apart everything in their way. Their fierce behaviour earned them a place of honour in the Chicago Field Museum of Natural History. Perhaps some day in the future the stuffed version of ‘The Ghost and The Darkness’ will similarly be on display in the Golden League Hall of Fame Museum, currently under construction!

Do not miss out on the first performance of ‘The Ghost and The Darkness’: ‘The Darkness’ will make his official debut for the Falcons, at the side of ‘The Ghost’, tomorrow afternoon at 13.00 HT-time in a Golden League fixture in Belgium, where the team faces Ratatoulle of East Flanders!

3

A Dark Episode

The Darkness’ that has taken Prague by storm the last few weeks continues unabated, yet a breakthrough in this controversial case seems to be finally at hand! Various local press agencies reported that the founding father of the Falcons, the thus far rather elusive Horus70, was seen leaving the Motol Hospital in Prague in the company of several police officers early this morning. According to official sources, the Falcons manager had been a long time resident of the hospital recovering from a knee injury following a mysterious yet nasty fall in an undisclosed foreign country.

Manager Horus70 following plastic surgery?

Local tabloid B-Lesk, never known for its objective reporting, suggested in its latest edition that the ‘Falconer’s stay in hospital had more sinister undertones. The sensationalist tabloid alleged that Horus70’s reason for visiting the hospital had in fact to do with a series of extensive plastic operations resulting in a complete facial make-over. The tabloid did not hesitate in adding that even without the ‘Darkness’ controversy threatening the very existence of the manager, given his well-known ugly mug, it would under all circumstances be a smart move for Horus70 to change face. The so-called photo of Horus70 published by the tabloid, and reprinted on this blog with kind permission, leaves however room for a bucket-load of doubt as it can not be claimed for certain that the person depicted is indeed the Falcon head honcho after a first plastic surgery.

The numerous national and international media-teams gathered outside the Petschek Palace – the former Gestapo headquarters and currently the police centre of operations in Politických vězňů (‘The Political Prisoners street’) – were utterly flabbergasted (to say the least) when manager Horus70 left the building a free man in the company of the Falcon management a mere 30 minutes after his arrival to the police station. The police shortly afterwards issued a statement informing that no criminal charges were laid against the Falcon management and that a press conference, probably to be held on the last weekend of November at the Falcon headquarters, would provide detailed information on the case…

9

The Ace speaks out on ‘The Darkness’

The ‘Darkness’ controversy that has kept Prague and surroundings in a deadly, toxic grip this last week has in the mean spilled across the Czech borders and reached an international dimension. An officially sanctioned commission of Czech police investigators travelled the width of Germany towards the state of Denmark in an attempt to find out more about what has led to two intensive outbursts of extreme mass hysteria in Prague, leaving in its wake a multitude of shocked, frightened and foaming tourists and locals alike. The destination of the two police officers, identified as detective sergeant P.O. Máhat and detective inspector Ch. Ránit(*), was none other but the city of Odense on the island of Funen – the very centre of a hullabaloo shaking both the HTUM federation and the third season of the Golden League to its very core in recent weeks.

The Ace in MSO-kit

Police headquarters being what they are (as leaky as the coppery cauldron of a wicked witch in fifteenth century Europe), appalling and juicy extracts of the interview conducted between the two officers and Abdul-Aziz Al-Shamsi, also known as ‘The Ace’, quickly became available to most media in the Czech lands shortly after their return from Denmark. As faithful readers of ‘The Ace’s online diary will know, the young and talented Emirate player, voted best player of the second season of the Golden League, has recently left the Prague Falcons team for MS Odense. Some passages of the interview are reproduced on this blog-page as they shed new, shocking light on the reasons behind ‘The Ace’s sudden departure from Prague to Odense, his current ‘disastrous form’ (according to the latest training update) and a glimpse into the mystery that is ‘The Darkness’.

[Following the usual niceties at the very start of the interrogation, the two Czech police officers gently but persuasively made sure Danish police officials and a representative of the MS Odense team left the gloomy interview room after a few minutes and then got to work on ‘The Ace’]

Robot photo of detective sergeant P.O. Máhat

P.O. Máhat (while holding the Ace’s neck into a deadly grip): “Are you telling me that your move to Odense had ulterior motives?” The Ace (wheezing): “The offer … was more than decent – a good salary, the chance to play with lots of Golden League superstars, yes … but do you really think … I would have left the beauty that is Prague for Odense and the Falcons for MSO only for a bit of money and a few new team mates? … Honestly? … I knew what was coming! I overheard manager Horus70 talk about the ‘Coming of The Darkness’.

Ch. Ránit (slamming a hammer upon the table in the immediate vicinity of Ace’s tied hands): “When is this atrocity supposed to take place?” The Ace (wincing): “All I heard was that … it would be some time in … late November this year and how it would alter the Falcon team for good – and that I might be a victim of the changes to take place. I had no reason to find out more … all I wanted was to get out beforehand!

P.O. Máhat (putting a silencer on his service revolver, while shouting): “For good?!? For good?!? Nothing ‘good’ seems to be involved in this sordid affaire! Who or what is ‘The Darkness’?” The Ace (close to shrieking): “No one knows, except for a very few initiated who have the complete trust of Horus, his inner circle! … All I heard were whispers about a revolution…

Ch. Ránit (placing a bag over Ace’s head, while screaming in a high-pitched voice): “A revolution?! Something evil is about to happen? Are we talking about terrorism – a terrorist attack during a GL3 game? Is this ‘Darkness’ involved with recent controversies occurring in the GLS3? Are you the secret connection between Odense and Prague?” The Ace (shaking uncontrollably): “No … No … Nothing evil … All I felt when I was hearing Horus speak on the matter was a feeling of doom, a sense of destruction and devastation. I don’t know anything … Really…..

A shot rings out …

[Tape ends]

Rumours have reached the redaction of several Czech newspapers and TV-stations that upon the return of the police investigators from Denmark an international warrant was logged with Interpol for Falcon manager Horus70.

(*) P.O. Máhat and Ch. Ránit or ‘Pomáhat a Chránit’ – ‘To help and protect’; the official slogan of the Czech Police.

5

Darkness at the Edge of Town

The madness and mass hysteria that started at the very edge of town only last Sunday morning as a small flick on the world wide radar of inexplicable and slightly bizarre events has over the course of a few days spread like wildfire and taken complete control of a petrified Prague.

An entirely unexpected and hence unpredicted total eclipse of the sun took the entire capital by surprise earlier today, leaving countless meteorological wizards even more confounded and perplexed than usual. As darkness closed in, leading to a cacophony of calamities and catastrophes, scruffy street dogs started howling their heinous lament and mangy alley cats shrieking frenziedly, while dozens of frightened pigeons and gullible gulls sought safety under the cover of the bridges spanning the Vltava River. As traffic froze to a complete standstill, millions of confounded Czechs turned their heads towards a colourless, pitch-dark heaven. A blood red sign appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, in the darkened sky, repeating the same message that had caused such frenzied psychosis on Sunday – “The Darkness is coming!

The Truth is Out There!

A large group of Spanish tourists, enjoying their first time visit to one of Prague’s landmark monuments – the famed Charles Bridge connecting the Old Town with the Lesser Side at the foot of the Prague castle – witnessed a sight that will undoubtedly have burned itself unto their retina for ages to come. A stunning young Czech maiden was seen crossing the bridge, screeching in a high-pitched unintelligible voice, while tearing clasps of raven-dark hair from her comely shaped head and scratching her face, with blood splaying her lovely cheeks as her long nails drew deeps gashes into her once perfect mother-of-pearl skin. In her wake, a young man later identified as her boyfriend, could be observed crawling on all fours, seemingly barking at a moon that could not be perceived (perhaps the dark side of the moon?). After he disappeared into Kampa Park, several terrified tourists had to be treated for rabies. Medical assistance regrettably came too late for a few unfortunate souls, who ended up in kennels instead.

Police authorities have in the mean time arrested the entire Falcon managerial board, but despite intensive interrogations, raising several pointed questions on moral issues surrounding the use of torture, have made little to no progress in this confounding case. The board of the Falcon team, currently convalescing in a non-specified military hospital at the outskirts of Prague, appears to be as mystified as the diligent keepers of the law when it comes to recent events. The only person who could possibly shed some light into this darkness holding Prague in its gruesome grip would seem to be the head Falcon, manager Horus70. Little is known of his current whereabouts, but rumours are circulating that he went underground in Egypt…

5

The Darkness is coming!

The Darkness

Stunned and stupefied fans gathered at the main entrance to the Falcon stadium in the early hours of the morning, gazing at dark images plastered all over gate and the walls. Staring back at them from numerous A4-size posters were a set of uncanny bright white eyes, set in the outline of what appears to be a human face, shaded for the most part in complete and utter darkness. Bewildered supporters, having stared for a moment too long into those unsettling eyes, had to be carried away, half comatose, to nearby hospitals, while more fortunate souls, only partly disorientated and slightly befuddled, were staggering back to their local watering hole for a pint or two before the clock struck high noon.

A sudden shriek, sounding only partly human and coming from the north side of the stadium, quickly drew a crowd of baffled onlookers. In paint, of an eerie blood red colour, a single sentence was scribbled, scratched and scrawled many times all over the stadium wall: ‘The Darkness is coming!’ As ladies swooned, splaying helplessly unto the mud covered field that commonly serves as the VIP parking lot, and children yelped helplessly, while ripping the hair out of their favourite dolls and tearing the wheels of matchbox cars, local emergency services were overcome in their futile attempts to straitjacket several senior citizens, foaming at the mouth and losing control over their bladders.

In the midst of the chaos spreading from the Falcon grounds at the outskirts of Prague, authorities are said have started to investigate the reasons for this disruption of the peace. No member of the Falcon management was thus far available for comment…