Following the tragic death of the team’s former mascot 3 months ago, Þórshamar’s manager decided that the time of grieving had passed and the position of the team mascot had to be filled.
After the sudden death of Captain Spandex Ballet, which the coroner ruled as “Hyper-allergic-reaction-to-spandex“, the fans of Þórshamar were devastated, even though he died during his first show at the stadium and nobody knew who he was.
A memorial service was held at his favorite local fast food restaurant, CrapDonalds, and the body was buried in a shallow little lake near his home.
But today the fans can rejoice again, because a new mascot is in town.
His name is Darth Vader and some people might remember him from the films “Honey, I choked the kids” and “Dude, where’s my lightsaber?“.
Lord Vader, as his minions address him, will be performing his spectacular show before kick-off and at half time during home games at Asgard stadium to get the audience going.
I caught Darth Vader earlier today and asked him a few questions.
JJJ: “Welcome Lord Vader. How do you like Iceland?” –
DV: “Thank you rebelscum. Well it’s a little bit colder than I expected. But nothing compared to Hoth I tell you!” –
JJJ: “Is it true that you once turned down a leading role as Mr. Spock in Star Trek?” –
DV: “Yes, that is true. I didn’t find the script evil enough. For instance, there was no dark side or an evil emperor. So I gave that show the finger.” –
JJJ: “Can you tell me a little what the fans can expect from your show in the coming future?” –
DV: “Yes I can. I will reenact some scenes from my past movies. Mostly involving choking some lucky volunteer from the audience to death.” –
“I will also perform a stunt I haven’t been practicing much, swallowing my lightsaber. Last time I performed that stunt was a long time ago in another galaxy far, far away.” –
“Also I will do some magic tricks for the kids and make an elephant disappear.” –
JJJ: “Thank you Lord Vader for your time and not using the force to choke me to death.” –
John Jay Johnsson -
Local reporter for HTU in Fáskrúðsfjörður -