Yup, it’s official. There have been some rumors floating around the stadium and the town for the past weeks, and now they have been confirmed by the board of Þórshamar.
Elvis Presley is the new stadium announcer at Asgard stadium.
The famous singer, which gave up his singing career in 1977, decided to move to Hawaii to become a volcano specialist, but got on the wrong plane and ended as a flufffarmer on a small island east of Iceland, harvesting down from birds and selling them to Japan. He also became an avid rock collector.
Back then, for some strange reason, half of the earth population thought he had passed away on a bathroom floor somewhere in America because he didn’t leave a note on the kitchen table saying he was leaving.
But the simple truth is that he just got tired of the glamor lifestyle, the tight jump suits and just wanted a break from it all.
I met up with Mr. Presley earlier and asked him few questions.
“So Mr. Presley, tell me how you decided to become Þórshamar’s new stadium announcer.”
“I’m sorry…I forgot to remember to forget. You see I’m all shook up from the flight last night.”
“Ah…a little jet lag going on? I hope you got a decent hotel room though.”
“Yes, I got a nice room at the Heartbreak hotel. Thank you very much.”
“Is it true that you have been writing incognito, songs for famous bands and singers in your spare time for the last 30 years or so?”
“Oh, sorry. I must have been misinformed.”
“Can I go now? I’m beginning to forget you.”
“Please Mr. Presley! Don’t be cruel!”
“It’s now or never. I’ve got to find my baby.”
“Yes, my cat. I’ve gone and lost it.”
“You sure have Mr. Presley. You sure have.”
That concluded our interview as Mr. Presley fell asleep in his chair.
I can safely say that meeting the legendary Elvis Presley was not what I expected.
He seemed a little…off and smelly.
But I’m sure once he is behind the microphone announcing players and missing children at the Asgard stadium, everyone will know him for what he is.
The king lives!
John Jay Johnsson –
Local reporter for HTU in Fáskrúðsfjörður –