Axed2 0-9 Pig Hunters: With a need to increase their goal-difference the Pigs went into this match with 3 strikers, and slammed nine goals past the hapless Bots. Two goals apiece to Campos Teixeira, Billy Sewell and Aurélien Carlier provided the highlights, but an injury to Denis Škapa two minutes from full time was the only downside in an otherwise regulation win for the Pigs.
|0 – 1||Feliciano Campos Teixeira||2′|
|0 – 2||Aurélien Carlier||14′|
|0 – 3||Arthur Scotney||17′|
|0 – 4||Aurélien Carlier||23′|
|0 – 5||Billy Sewell||57′|
|0 – 6||Billy Sewell||60′|
|0 – 7||Feliciano Campos Teixeira||76′|
|0 – 8||Denis Škapa||87′|
|0 – 9||Jovan Janić||87′|
Rant ‘n’ Rave Cup:
The first edition of the newly revised Rant ‘n’ Rave Cup took place yesterday, with Whites Wongs and Pig Hunters playing out a 0-0 draw. With no goals and only 6 chances created (4-2 in the Wongs favour), all of the attention was placed on the behaviour of both managers throughout the match.
As expected, there was some pre-match banter just hours before the game. Wongs manager awrace got the early points when he muttered “the time for talk is over” whilst walking past the Pigs bench before kick-off. With the Wongs missing chance after chance, manager essenn lent forward in the dugout and said “take your chances while you can, mate”. awrace quickly responded “Only a matter of time now!”. A yellow card to Wongs player Bernskär after a nasty tackle saw essenn leap off the bench and yell “You dirty bastards”. The sly smile and chuckle from awrace didn’t impress the Pigs manager, and as the ref blew for half time, essenn made sure he let awrace know that the Pigs were winning the midfield and still in the game.
Both managers seemed to regain their composure during the break, but it didn’t take awrace long to open his mouth again. As the Pigs first substitution was taking place (with Pig Legend Ova Dunn coming on), he said “bringing on the geriatrics now I see”. essenn in no uncertain terms reminded awrace that the “average age of the Pigs is still much younger than your Dads Army”. With both managers on their feet and looking quite fired up, it was up to the coaches of both teams (Lingii and Vahip) to take control… holding their respective managers back and leading them back to the benches. As order was restored, the match continued without any further interuptions… up until the final whistle, when essenn sensationally walked out, stated “Fuck this… I’m going home”, leaving awrace looking dumbfounded as usual. “Well that was a let down” was all the Wongs manager could say.
So the new Rant ‘n’ Rave Cup kicks off with a draw – and quite fitting too, seeing as the very first meeting between the clubs also ended as draw.
In Other News:
– Mateusz Litwin has played his last game for the Pig Hunters, sold during the week for a fee of 4,500,000 AU$. The Club would like to thank Litwin for his services over the past few seasons.
– Young winger Lefter Keskin has recently joined the Club. Although a little expensive, the Board believe that Keskin will in a few seasons time make the transition into the senior squad.
– Following the announcement of the Falcon Tour of Wonders, the Club has respectfully decided to postpone the re-naming of Pirelli Park. With construction of the new stadium expected to be completed next week, the original plan was to ‘unveil’ the new name at the same time.
“With the Falcons choosing to play their one and only game in Oceania against the Pig Hunters, and with manager Horus70 being a Pigs supporter himself, we’ve decided to delay the re-naming of the new stadium until April 25″, said essenn. “I’m proposing that the first half be played at ‘Pirelli Park’… then during the half-time break, we officially announce the new name of the stadium. This means that Horus Falcons will get to play the last ever game at ‘Pirelli Park’ and also the first ever game at the ‘newly named stadium’. I’m still in discussions with our legal department to see if this is possible, but these are our plans…”
* The search continues for a new stadium name, and we’ve already taken on-board some very good suggestions. If you have any ideas of your own on what the new stadium should be called, please leave a comment *