With the new season about to kick-off – and with manager essenn nowhere to be seen – club secretary Ova Dunn took it upon himself to hold the first press conference of the current campaign…
“I apologize for essenn not being here – it appears that he has other things to do rather than attend his beloved Pig Hunters season launch! With that said, let me assure all fans and supporters that the Club is aiming to win IV.53 this season. We let everyone down by finishing in 4th position last season, and we are hell-bent on at least challenging for the title this time around.”
“Despite rumours over the past months that coach Tom Campbell would not be around to see the new campaign, as it stands he will lead the Pigs into a record 6th season! I am glad that essenn has decided to stick by the legendary coach – and I’m personally confident that Campbell can repay the faith and deliver the goods.”
“With the recent Oceania Cup restructure, I’ve decided to lower the expectations for this competition – our aim now is to reach round 4. I’d also like to quash rumours of player sales… no senior Pig player will be sold this campaign! And I will also investigate why so many fans are leaving the Club… something dodgy is going on and I intend to find out exactly what or who the reason is behind it.”
“We’ve got a long tough season ahead of us, and hopefully it will be a successful one… we are ready to rumble!”
Dunn also revealed that the Pigs will be playing all home games in a predominantly black kit this season – a change from the traditional green that the Club has used throughout most of their history. When asked what the reason was behind the decision, Dunn pointed out that the Pigs had used a black kit before in the past and that it seemed more than reasonable to use it again… yes, the Pigs are Back in Black!