The Pig Hunters have once again crashed out in the early rounds of the Oceania Cup, following this weeks 0-1 loss away to Undertaker Fc. The result means the Pigs exit the Cup at Round 5, 2 weeks short of the Round 7 target that was set by manager essenn before taking his leave of absence for the season. While it’s believed that many within the inner sanctum of the Club know exactly why & where the Pigs failed, no-one has been willing to share their thoughts publicly.
However, late this afternoon Hall of Fame member and sports journalist Billy Sewell received a phone call from a person who wished to remain anonymous. According to Sewell, the caller was quite disheartened about the situation and laid the blame squarely on Ova Dunn’s shoulders. Being the shifty journalist that he is, Sewell recorded the call and offered the following snippets of the conversation to the ‘Blog’…
“Billy, we’ve known each other for quite a while now, but you didn’t hear this from me, ok? I don’t care who you tell, just don’t mention my name – coz when essenn finds out whats happening he’s gonna fuckin flip!”
“Remember back in the early days when we used to travel by bus to the away games – the Bang Bus we called it, yeah that’s right. And how we used to have all them sluts, hookers, harlots, and moles hanging around the Club all the time… remember? Yeah mate, the good old days… ”
“I can understand why we ditched the Bus, got no problem with that. And I can see why the Club banned the unwanted attraction from the groupies, they were just seeking attention. But our old mate Ova has taken it to another level…”
“Listen to this… he’s fired all of the fluffers! All of them, every single one!”
“Yep – the fluffers! The one’s who were given ‘access all areas’ passes at every bloody game. The one’s who helped us get our blood & motivation going before the game with the promise to relieve it afterwards, but only if we won. The fluffers, man, the inspiration… fuckin gone!”
“I know! Having them in the change rooms before & after the matches are what the Pigs are all about! But Ova has gone and fucked up our tradition. Everyone around the Club was shattered when they heard the news… the players especially couldn’t handle it. That’s why we fucking lost – it’s all Ova’s fault. Between you and me, the prick is fucked when essenn finds out… “
It is still unclear as to whether or not essenn actually knows anything about these recent developments. All attempts have been made to contact both essenn and Ova Dunn, but neither have responded so far. Interesting times ahead…
As manager/owner of both the Pig Hunters and Camberwell FC, essenn has just arranged a friendly match between the two Clubs for next week. The game will be played at Willison Park, home of the Cobras.