Media Day

Due to pluck, grit and our opponent’s forgetting to field any midfielders, we’ve managed to sneak into the Third Round Proper of the U.S. Open Cup.  As a reward, we’ve drawn a Third Division mainstays the West Virginia Rovers, which means that the media’s glare shines on us far more brightly than usual (i.e. we’re drawing actual reporters for once, and not just a couple fans claiming to be bloggers in order to cadge free bagels).  As is apparently traditional such circumstances, our Manager, Danny Budde, gave a press conference after our pre-game walkthrough.  Here are some excerpts:

Q: How do you think you’ll stack up against the Rovers tonight?

DB: Well, they are stronger, faster and more skilled than us, but they are also vastly more experienced, in better form, and don’t have their best player out with an injury picked up in some stupid international friendly.  So, its going to be a long night.

Q:  So, what will you tell your team to inspire them?

DB:  Exactly what I just told you.

Q:  What do you say to those who believe that you’ve lost your fire to motivate your team?

DB: [draws on cigarette] When the rats follow the pedi-cab, it is because they think pizzas will be dropped on the sidewalk.

Q:  Seriously, are you so burnt out that you can only muster a cut-rate Cantona impression?

DB:  [shrug]  Just be glad its not a Joe Kinnear impression.

Q: Ok, so do you plan on sitting down with the Rovers manager after this one and having a chat?

DB:  Absolutely, I usually meet with the opposing manager to share a few glasses of Two-Buck Chuck after each match.  Today, however, I laid in a special bottle.

Q:  So what did you get?

DB:  Three-Buck Chuck.

In an unrelated story, I’ve written a memo to the Chairman asking that funds be allocated for a media training program.  Given the usual attitude towards expenditures here, I would not expect much.


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