The Animal Is Let Loose

Saturday, 10th February

The Lost Saxons’ Youth Team Head Coach has given scout Jermaine ‘The Animal’ Blythe the green light to go ‘wild’ and scour the country, and make contact with Fed colleagues around the globe, as the Saxons prepare for life without Martin ‘Runaway Train’ Frain and company.

BiddleBlytheTom ‘Cupcake’ Biddle (left) with Jermaine ‘The Animal’ Blythe

“First stop, is Greater Manchester.”

RayVyas“We’ve been in intense discussions with Blackley Bombers, and are pleased to announce the signing of Ray Vyas, a great 17-year-old talent with a penchant for the unpredictable. He’ll be thrown straight into this weekend’s league game.

He’s got a bit of an edge to him, but so did I – and that’s why I like him,” said a smiling Jermaine Blythe.

Next stop? “I’m catching a plane shortly, to Switzerland, St. Gallen to be precise.”

Updates on Sunday 11th February:

Breaking news this morning – we have learnt overnight, that Blythe has delayed his trip to St. Gallen, and will be flying in to Oviedo in North-Western Spain, intent on checking out a potential talent in Asturias first. Interesting…

Mid-Afternoon Update:

Confirmed! Blythe wins huge transfer battle with 2 Spanish giants to secure the signing of 17-year-old
unpredictable player Abel Echauri, for just under a million Euros. Big signing.

“I am ecstatic to have signed for the Saxons, as they attempt to rebuild their team for the future. I know there were some big Spanish teams trying to secure my services, but now I wear the white dragon, and I am only looking to the first game I will play.”

We understand, that Echuria is already on a fast jet to England, having passed his medical, and only time will tell if he will make it in time to play in this evening’s league game. Exciting news for Saxons fans – more as we have it, and we presume, from Switzerland as we reported earlier.

Sunday evening updates:


Mr. Blythe has just been in touch with our blog, after failing to secure a deal in Switzerland for a young winger. Here is what he had to say, as he phoned us from a flight he is now on to Ozbekistan.

“Hi there Saxons fans, I’m really having a successful trip despite the disappointing negotiations tonight. I’m thrilled for our two new signings, and especially Echuria who scored a hattrick on his debut only hours after arriving in England! Amazing! They will both be great young additions to our team, and will only get better and better.

I’ve been talking on the phone with Mr. Á Nesi, and he says he was quite impressed with our young Palestinian forward Abu Zama’ who also scored a hattrick in the league game today, and so he has told me to focus on only one more signing for the training spots, for now. I think Abu Zama’ has really gotten himself noticed – good for him.

I’m currently on my way to Ozbekistan – never been there before, but I’ve been told there might be a nice young talent. I got a message from Mentor C while I was in Spain. Apparently he is on holiday in Gran Canaria, and heard I was passing through, so he gave me a heads-up about a young player named Freze. I thought, cool. Ok, sorry… bad joke. I’ll update soon! Animal out.”

  • post will update as ‘The Animal’ updates us!


Late Sunday evening, word has reached us that the Saxons board have successfully negotiated the contract with former Syrian U-20 forward, Zakaria Al-Kaled. This signing was not carried out by social media scout of the moment, Jermaine Blythe, though we understand the hefty fee for Al-Kaled means that Blythe will be authorised to sign only one more youngster before returning to The Burial Ground. We are led to believe that the youngster involved is based in Ozbekistan, in the Samarqand Viloyati region. We will update tomorrow as we hear of any developments.


Peroni Speaks.


Finally, after weeks of banter and accusation between The Wodkas and Los Mejores Fútbol Club blogs, yet with no comment as such from either Cristian Farroni or Aldopaolo Peroni, we get the eventual ‘word from the horses mouth’ as Peroni gave us this exclusive:

“Mr. Peroni, thank you for speaking to Wodkas blog. Please tell us your take on the situation between the Wodkas and Los Mejores Fútbol Club, and more specifically, your relationship with Mr. Farroni.”

“It is, of course, grand to be here. Let’s drive straight to the point – I am disappointed with some of the things that have been said on that blog. My lawyers will deal with such accusations. It is a shame. I think Los Mejores Fútbol Club is one of the biggest teams that has never achieved anything in GL, apart from runner-up in season 2 I think. They should be achieving great things, and we shouldn’t have to talk about matters like this.”

“And your relationship with Mr. Farroni?”

“This is a difficult matter for me. I don’t think we can ever be friends, but we can be professional. I am not sure if has actually said some of the things reported about him, and if he has, he will find me pursuing him in the courts.”

“What of the claims on their blog that insinuate that you had a hand in the murder of a Peroni family member?”

“I don’t know who she is. She claimed to be a member of our family, but this happens a lot back in Uruguay. People wanting to clutch at straws and claim something from the Peroni family. Honestly, she is no relative of mine. I don’t know what this whole fiction is about, and as I said, my lawyers are working for me. I have nothing to hide.”

“What is your opinion about his role as Golden League President?”

“The role of GL President is a tremendously rewarding yet difficult role. It is a role that needs neutrality. There should be no financial gain from it. If there were, then any GL President should question their right to be in that role. Does Mr. Farroni have reasons to question his right to be in the role?”

“Do you see yourself, at some point in the future, challenging Mr. Farroni should he be found to have conflicts of interest?”


“Many will be surprised to hear that.”

“I know.” (He smiles.)

“Would you care to elaborate?”

“Certainly – quite simply, if Mr. Farroni has no conflicts of interest, is not involved in any corruption, then he should continue in that role. I see no reason to challenge him. If he is found, or any GL President is found, to be guilty of such crimes, then they will be removed by the Federation and not Aldopaolo Peroni. I can say that at this moment in time, I have no interest in pursuing such a return to that role. My preference would be Faria.”

“You seem to have had a good past relationship with Mr. Faria, on the whole, and certainly in contrast to that with Farroni.”

“I would say that’s fair.”

“There was speculation that the Wodkas blog would be releasing more revelations about the Farroni past, including allegations of match official bribery. Are you aware of these?”

“There will be no such stories. I have put a stop to that. We all need to concentrate on the football. Let the lawyers and law makers investigate such things, not club owners, managers, presidents or board members.”

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Peroni. There are many who waited for you to speak on this matter, and many who will no doubt be fascinated by your comments. We look forward to seeing if Mr. Farroni will have anything to say, or indeed, if the investigations happening in the background prove worthwhile. Thank you for your time.”

“Your quite welcome. May I take this opportunity to say a fond hello to my old friend, Mentor C, who contacted me recently to ship a significant supply of bacon into Raszków. I said I thought that was rather ‘rasher’ of him. Haha. You like?”

And with that interesting attempt at humour, we left Mr. Peroni to leave with the club press secretary for more photo shoot time for his Peroni-Gram account. All we can say is, watch this space regarding Golden League.