Hattrick United

It has been quite a while since our last update and much has happened to the club.

in our last update we announced that we had just won div.iii.

since then we went on to finish 5th in div.ii and were sadly relegated, the following season we switched training and things did not go well for us and we finished 8th in our div.iii.

We are about to begin life in div.iv.56 and the manager is quite optimistic about our chances. His optimism comes from the fact the club have returned to defence training and have completed a major overhaul of the squad.  A number of players have left and a number have come in, leaving the club in a very healthy financial position. The manager is hoping to perhaps improve the squad as the season progresses but the chairman reminded him that the club has plans that extend beyond the next season or two.

the club will try to post review more frequently in the future.

In a bizarre turn of events Shettleston were today crowned as Div.III.3 champions.

Only the scenario of Bonjour dropping points, coupled with a win for Shettleston could have seen them take the title. It happened.

The district of Shettleston is today basking in the glorious sunshine and it has nothing to do with the weather. As far the fans are concerned they think the sun shines out of the managers ……

I reckon a few of the clubs sponsors home brews may be consumed in celebration tonight.

Manager Arthur said ‘Cheers boys you done me proud. We never expected the result in the final week. Our lead had been slowly eroded by Bonjour and we were overtaken with one game remaining, but it is testament to my players resilliance that they managed to hold off the very strong challenge from Bonjour..’

Well that’s us reached the half way point in season 36 and Shettleston have found themselves sitting at the top of the division. They have achieved this and remain the only undefeated team in the division.

The club have now won 4 out of their 7 matches and drew the other 3, amassing a total of 15 points out of a possible 21 so far. The downside of this run has been the club inability to stop opponents from scoring, having conceded in all games bar one.

One peculiar thing to note is that in all games that the terrors have won they have scored three goals each time, whilst all three draws have ended a goal apiece.

Olegario Atrian and Jaco Van Boxtel have been recruited to the squad to add some depth to our squad although Atrian has yet to start a match.

The club has now reached the maximum it can afford to pay in wages each week and is possible that it could run at a loss over a two week period but that is not something that is concerning the manager at the moment.

Should the club succeed in maintaining their place in Div.III the manager intends to postpone switching the training and continue training his defenders.

The club is quite excited about the possibility of finishing in their highest ever position.

Its been 8 weeks since my last blog and so much has happened.

We finished last season with a title winning 3-1 victory over the leaders Gravy Spoons on the final day of the season. This meant that we had went 13 league games unbeaten, drawing 2 games along the way. This was extended to 14 games as we went on to win our promotion playoff 3-2 away to St Ola Utd.

We have also recruited a couple of players, Felipe Satrustegui (GK, £1.083m), Grant Dray (CB, £217k) and Kenneth Webb (FW, £2.8m).

Unfortunately this seasons cup campaign has ended prematurely, having lost in the third round. We deserved to lose and cant really complain about it.

Our start to life in Div.III.3 has been much better than expected. Our opinion game was away to Kings Park 2, a match in which we quickly went 2-0 down before fighting back to win 3-2.
We followed that with a great 3-1 win at home against Die Teufelshunde. This saw us go to the top of the league.

Our third match was away to Bonjour Viet Nam, this finished in a 1-1 draw. This was probably a fair result, stats went against us but chances were on our side so we have no complaints.

Off the pitch the club is not as financially healthy as it once was but that is due to the big money purchases we have made recently. The clubs coffers are also expected to take another hit or two in the coming weeks as the managers tries to strengthen the depth of the squad.

It has been a few Weeks since we last provided an update on the running of the club.

Since we were knocked out of the cup the club has managed to go on an unbeaten run, winning 4 and drawing 1.
This is not where the major changes have taken place though. the club has seen the arrival of a couple of new faces.
Striker cathal Lashbrooke and midfielder James Docharty were recruited at a combined cost of 3 million.
Stewart welfare and Jim chadburn have both been promoted, along with the newly bought Denny Schneider are all going to be trained in defence.
This means that a number of our current trainees will need to leave to make way. The players leaving are olah,green,spring,Kruger and pike. Salinmaki has already left the club.

The reason behind this move is that the club feel they need to build up their cash reserves before they can make an assault on the higher divisions as without money behind them they would be left with their current squad and that is just not goods enough.

Shettleston have now exited the Scottish Cup.

The club reached an all time best by participating in the 6th round of the Scottish Cup.

The clubs results in this seasons cup were

1st Round – 8-0 Win against a bot. Scorers – McMaster (2), Olah (2), Urmston (2), Spring and Friend

2nd Round -4-0 Win against a bot. Scorers – Lawrie (2), Train and Kruger

3rd Round -Clyde FC (1) V (4) Shettleston – This was a fairly run of the mill match for Shettleston and was certainly one that they were never really in danger of losing. Scorers were D.MacLise (2), Aurich and Salinmaki.

4th Eound -Shettleston (5) V (1) Schwarzenegger Allstars – This was a bit of a grudge match for both teams, as they had competed in the league against each other just the previous season and both had ended up being relegated. The scoreline was flattering to Shettleston as there wasnt too much between both teams. Scorers – Bryde (2), Lawrie, Pike and Urmston.

5th Round -Shettleston (2) V (1) FC CTAPT – This was a match that Shettleston expected to lose but knew that their counter attack chances could provide them with an opportunity to steal something from the match. In the end the manager was delighted to secure the win, in what was only the clubs second attempt at round 5. Scorers – Bryde and D.MacLise

6th Round – Shettleston (1) V (3) Vodikavkaz – Shettleston knew that they totally outclassed by the visitors but as the match grew closer the manager grew in confidence that the club could achieve the impossible. As the visitors raced to a 2 goal lead it began to look impossible for the Terros, although they were given a glimmer of hope as the pulled a goal back but that hope was soon extinguished as they then found themselves 3-1 down. In the end it was a career best performance but ultimately not good enough. Scorer – Lawrie

This is the club best ever performance in the cup competition and with a little bit of luck they could have gone further but alas it was not to be. Next seasons cup competition will be much harder as the club will be ranker lower and as such will face much tougher competition each week, but they are likely to only face 2 matches away from home.

It is with a sad heart that we have found ourselves sitting in 7th place at the end of season 34. This means that season 35 will begin with us replacing the winners of Div.IV.4.

On initial inspection of the teams in this division, we realize that auto-promotion will be very unlikely. Yes the manager could probably buy his way back into Div.III but that would mean spending massively on players wages once again, something neither the chairman or the manager wish to do. Although the club may spend some money to replace the players that have left recently.

So it is with this in mind that we have decided to switch our training plans to focus more on playmaking. This will unfortunately put us at a big disadvantage over our fellow competitors who will all have players that are already partly trained. However as the manager realizes that this is a long term strategy, he is aware, and has highlighted to the chairman, that the club will struggle to compete for the initial season but after that he expects the club to put together some decent performances and therefore begin to climb the league table once again.

This strategy will also allow the club to hold onto its resources and begin to increase the clubs bank account, ready for when the club finds itself in a position to once again challenge for a Div.III place. The increased performance from our trainees will increase our chances of maintaining that Div.III position.

So although the initial future looks relatively bleak for the Shettleston Terrors we have been assured that the manager knows what he is doing and we have the utmost faith in him.

The manager Arthur Duggan has just announced the signing of forwards Barnett Lawrie, Angus Bryde and goalkeeper Kevin MacLise. All three of these will improve the team without costing too much in wages. The manager hopes that these signings will help to make the club slightly more competitive next season.

Well folks, thats 2 attempts at div.iii.11 and both times it ended in relegation.

As we will have a reduced income next season, we have begun the drastic steps of reducing the clubs wage bill. This has been done by placing 4 players on the transfer market, this will bring in a few quid, which will be stored for a future push at div.iii once again. There may be other players who will leave but these four are the first to be placed up for sale.

This relegation will give the club the opportunity to change our training, although this may not happen straight away, but it will happen within the next 18 weeks. This will see our current trainees become much more multi-skilled.

So despite the anger at being relegated, the club is gonna remain upbeat about the future as we are building some quality defenders, hopefully at least one will feature for the national squad at some point.

Div.IV here we come.

The manager has called a meeting with the clubs Chairman Ted Wolverstone and Secretary Marshall MacLeod to discuss the clubs future.

The manager is concerned by the clubs league position and while he knows that there is a little bit of funds available to him he is reluctant to spend this cash as it will be impossible to finance the wages required.

The manager has asked for advice on the future of the current squad for next season and beyond. As far as he is concerned their is a need for many changes regardless of which division the club finds itself in.

The manager has pointed out that he can take the club in a few directions.

Option 1 – Continue with the current crop of trainees and give them some multi-skill training. This may not be the most financially viable option as multi-skill players do not sell for much more than mono-skill players. This option would involve removing all other players that are currently in the squad but will not play due to new training regimes.

Option 2 – Sell the trainees and recruit a new batch. This will boost the clubs bank account significantly.

Option 3 – Sell all saleable players and start afresh. This would generate a large income, but would require a major rethink of the clubs future including training.

The chairman has told the manager that he has the clubs backing regardless of which option he chooses.

The secretary of course opted for the third option as it is the most beneficial for the clubs bank balance.

The shettleston manager is pleased to acknowledge that since the club began their sponsorship deal with local brewer Budhill Brewery the fortunes of the club have improved. The club may only have climbed one place up the league table but they have gone from being the leagues whipping boys to having taken 9 points from the last 12 available.

The manager is uncertain whether this is the result of bringing in a couple of new players or the fact that the teams social outings are being restricted to the club house where they can only consume two types of alcohol. He tends to believe it is the latter of these reasons.

Budhill Brewery spokesman Al Ki today announced that the club house will soon be catering for the lades and those limp wristed players in the team as they will soon be selling Strawberry Snap and Crazy Cola, both of which will be around 5% alcohol content. In the future the brewery intends t0 sell exclusively within the club house its new range of wines.

However the brewery announced today its new brand of lager – Mexican Cerveza. The manager of Shettleston has banned the players from sampling any of this until after this weeks league games. Dont want the players wearing ponchos instead of the clubs strip on Saturday.

Looking at the performance of the club in recent weeks the manager is absolutely delighted at the turn around in the clubs fortunes. In fact if results go their way this weekend it is possible (but unlikely) that the club could find itself sitting in the top half of the table. It is more likely that should the team manage another victory today they will find themselves in a playoff position, it would then be a matter of getting results in their final 3 matches to try and secure that place as the manager feels that a top half finish is probably out of their reach at this point. However you just never know how results will go in this leage as every team is capable of taking points from each other.

Heres hoping that results go our way.