Will you ever ‘Gedó’ know….

…who wiped out Jacek Kirpsza?

Who’s the better player? It depends…Who are we talking about!?
Gusztáv ‘Gedó’ are a full-blooded Hungarian with an aura that almost screams “karamba! at you, the very first time you see him! On the other hand the tiny Polak, Jacek Kirpsza, looks at you with his blond head and his ever so closed (dreaming?) eyes. At best, he’s just shy and at worst he is so shy that the inside of his eyelids is the only picture of the world he feels comfortable with. Before jumping to conclusions and claim Gedó as the better player, we should go along the fair side and have a look at the polish player to see what he actually are able to come up with on a football field. Can he juggle, dribble, run, shoot, pass and tackle the ball – or is he more of a (thoughtful) chess player?

Born and raised in Dolnośląskie, in the south-western part of Poland, nearby the city of Wroclaw, it clearly was in the cards of Dad Kirpsza that, if his son had the talent, he should join the Young Charlemagnes’ Fire, a youth academy attached to the perhaps more well-known, at least in Golden League terms, Raszków Revival. The academy’s unknown status in the public eye – and by ‘eye’ I’m not referring to the bad parody of the “Clint-Eastwood-do-you-feel-lucky-punk!?” eyes that Jacek performs over and over again – is perhaps about to change with players like Jacek coming through . That guy has an indubitable palette of talent! He can be rope jumping with an egg on his forehead without loosing it!

Jacek Kirpsza, or should I say Jacqueline?

Jacek Kirpsza, or should I say Jacqueline?

He can imitate Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice from terminator and he can even dress up and wear make-up and perform just like a drag queen (I swear that you almost can’t tell the difference!). (In VFJ we are actually thinking of giving him the job as the lady in the bacon-room, because of that talent!)
Its with out a doubt that, the young man sure has many talents! Though soccer is not one of them it doesn’t mean that he can’t make a career. He might not be a master of juggling or dribbling and he might not aim very well when he shoots and pass the ball (thank God he wasn’t the dad of Willhelm Tell!), but he has a slight talent when it comes to tackle the ball! Undoubtedly! It’s just a shame he is made of glass! Hmm perhaps they should nickname him “Splinter”? It would suite him way better than the “Viper” thing. Unless the word (if a bit misspelled) should refer to him being wiped of?

What I’m trying to tell you guys is that Jacek is a really nice guy – he really, really is! He would be a great waitress, nurse or performing well in the Thai showbizz, but let’s be honest; He just ain’t football material. That doesn’t mean we think less of him because of that! No way – we are not like that! At all!

So is that it? Are there no words about the ‘VFJ-Karamba dude’? You bet there are! Gusztáv Gedó was born and raised by Hans and Grethe not so long ago, in the eastern Hungary near the border of Romania. His parents originated from the northern Germany, but life somehow sent them to Hungary…hmmm wait, or was it Honecker!? I don’t recall, but it’s also not that important, I think.

The Gedó couple..

The Gedó couple..

Long story short they were wondering around in the woods eating, got scared by an old woman and ran. They stopped running around Debrecen, but during their breaks on their way to there, they apparently did more than just sleeping. Gusztáv Gedó mashed his way in to life with his head first 9 month later and ever since that day his head have been one of his forces. Life were a bit tough in Hungary at times in his childhood, but his dad always seemed to find a way, both for the family and for Gusztáv. For instance Gusztáv had no football, but living close the cemetery his dad found a spare skull and soon Gusztáv learned how to deliver proper passing, heading and shooting! However tackling were not aloud, his dad said, as the ball then might wouldn’t survive! The other kids around envied Gusztáv for having a ball to play with and that forced him to stay in control of the ball all the time, hence why his such a talented midfielder today. “Keep possession kid!” his dad always said ( not in English of cause!)
One day Gusztáv’s parent again went in to the forest, eating and didn’t came back. Therefore he decided to go to the northern Germany to see if he could find them, but he got at bit to far north and ended up in VFJ instead. If trained there is no doubt in our minds that Gusztáv will end up as first team star and future club legend. Simply because he has the talent and suited with a specialty all he need is some passing and then straight back to skull-ball training!

For Jacek’s advantage it can be said that Gusztáv does not have as much talent as he has, but since it depends on football talent, then Gusztáv is simply ahead. By the way Gusztáv has expressed that he would like to go visit Jacek in Thailand at a time …


The Benefits of Bacon!

In a world full of pigs – both on and off the pitch – bacon have become a natural part of the game! Since the early days of soccer were the game spread from England to all over the world, stories have appeared about bacons amazing performance enhancing ability! And just like in the cradle of cycling doping, it took the sport some time to find out how to benefit from this wonderful piece of meat!

Players like Jan ‘Fed” Frandsen, Peter ‘Proppen’ Petersen and Niels Sæk are all players that you might never have heard about, but they were among the very first Danish players that actively experimented with bacon to enhance their performance on the field. All of them died before the age of 30, weighing way beyond 250 lb. They clearly went to far!

Steadily the sport got a grip on the bacon and death among young soccer players were more and more rare! During the last 7 years VFJ have refined and sophisticated the “bacon-method” and today we use it as a weapon when we play! That’s why we were contacted by Xuturo, the owner of FC X-team, as he wanted to know more about this method. He wanted to see if he could somehow implement the performance enhancing ability from bacon into his club. Of cause we said yes to that – you give some and you take some.

You see Mr. Xuturo the benefits from bacon is the savagery and not forgetting, the horniness, that the salty meat creates when it’s combined with human gastric juice

, Mentor C explained as he and Mr. Xuturo walked through the VFJ-lab, the lab that is so well-known for it’s all-over contribution to the game! The Mentor went on explaining how things went wrong in the cradle of bacon-doping, as people ate too much of it and got to fat to play or simply died after eating 10-12 lb’s of bacon a day for a week. The cause of sudden death was constipation and in the longer term cardiovascular disease! Other curiosities about the early experiments was that later, when they got control on the amount of bacon to be used, it was found that at a constant intake of bacon in a too small quantity, created a chemical mixture in the brain, which sends impulses two the nerve-centre about an erection of the penis. This was the forerunner of VIAGRA!

“Imagine players running around on the field with a Willy as hard as stone, kicking, heading…yeahh even banging the ball!” Mentor C continued with more than a smile on his libs. That was also the reason that footballs went from hand-made to machine-made, as otherwise they could not withstand the rough treatment on the field. But a bunch of horny players wont win a match – sure they would win the ball, over and over again, but they would not know what to do with it else than…I guess you get the picture. Therefore it is very important to know the amount of bacon a player should have to be just eager enough to get the ball, but still be able to think in a soccer-biased way. To test that the VFJ-lab have a so called “Test” room and asked if he would try it, Mr. Xuturo said yes and went inside. The door was closed and the only thing in the room were a table with bacon and an old woman only dressed in underwear, showing all the beauty she had…or once had. We wont tell you any details here – but we can tell you that Mr. Xuturo found out that he needs more than 2 pieces of bacon to perform at his best in a match!

Despite VFJ and FC X-team are rivals in the GL competition, the 2 clubs between agreed on sharing knowledge about performance enhancing methods. As a result of that, Mentor C looks very much forward to go to Romania to learn more about blood-doping from the masters of that kind of performance enhancing methods, inspired and invented by a certain duke!

The day ended in a shared look at the painting which graced the entrance to the VFJ-lab.

Sir Francis Bacon, the inventor of Bacon and it's beautiful power!


Doctrina VIIII

“So close!”

Jack and the professor had walked around in the dungeons for around 45 minutes without seeing any windows in the ceiling. Also they haven’t seen or heard any persons down here since the guide disappeared. Professor Pawlak’s torch have gone out and the only light left were Jack’s torch which also looked like it could go out any minute.

A muddy surface met their shoes and soon they could hear the water splash as they walked.

“- We are in the eastern part of the dungeon!”

“- Yes Jack! I would say that we should stick to this direction and then we will come to the outer eastern area. Then we’ll wait there until dawn and let the daylight guide us out?”

“- It’s a good plan professor, but it’s so damn cold down here! And now our shoes and socks are soaking wet….And if this area is flooded, I guess that the water level would raise the further east we come?”

“- Yes Jack, but when the water level raise, then we know that we are getting to the outer area!”

“- Good point professor….ll..llook beh..behind you professor!”

Jack’s voice sounded excited, confused and a little scared at the same time. Behind the professor on the wall was scratched 3 letters into the wall with an arrow pointing up over them.

“- ‘H T B’ up from here!?…I don’t get it professor!?”

“- Point at the ceiling with the torch Jack!”

A little hole near the ceiling about 3 feets above them appeared in the ever-weaker light from the torch. Jack commanded that the professor should stand close to the wall and then he crawled up on him and planted his shoes on his shoulders. The hole was much bigger than it looked from below and Jack’s chest flush with the edge of the hole so he could light the hole completely. A rope and extra torches with some lighter fluid next to them were placed a few feet’s inside the hole. The professor huffed and puffed and the weight from Jack pushed him further and further down into the mud, while his knees began to give way.

“- Stand still for Christ sake!…..I’m going in!”

A few seconds later Jack lay in the hole, got up on his knees and turned around towards the professor. At the same time they could both here voices and footsteps not far away.

“- Quick professor here is a rope. Climb up here as fast as you can!”

The voices came closer and became more clear.

“- Where the fuck did they go!???”

“- Don’t know Sir! I thought we had’em….I really thought we had’em!”

“- Shh….I hear something…come…”

Meanwhile the professor had climbed up into the hole. But the torch still burned and though it was a weak flame then the light would be easy to see from down below. In a whispering voice Jack told the professor to take of his jacket. He did the same.

“- Place it around the torch from the left and then I will do the same from the right as then we can block the light and it wont be seen from below!”

It shuddered in Jack and the Professor as they could hear the click of a gun being loaded a few feets away below them.Careful footsteps in the mud below was the only sound they could hear beside their own heart beat. The footsteps stopped. A few seconds later the the men below continued. Jack whispered to the professor that he should remove his jacket so that the torch could get some air. Slowly professor Pawlak removed his jacket and the torch took in the air like a drowned person just before it was to late. Still Jacks jacket covered the entrance to the hole so that the light from the torch only lighted up the inside of the hole. They waited a few minutes and then the professor took the torches Jack had found in the hole and lit them up. They crawled deeper into the hole and after a short while and a few turns it got so big that they could stand up. The ground under them was now a stone floor and on the wall hang unlighted torches. Jack lit the torches on the wall.

In front of them were a door. It seemed locked.

“- Now what!?? We can’t go back as some gunmen are running around searching for us and up here the only way out is locked! GREAT!?”

The professor didn’t respond to Jack’s words and instead he started to look at the walls. No signs that could lead to a riddle were seen, no keys or what so ever. The professor looked at Jack.

“- I know Pawlak, there’s no way in…….and no way out!”

“- Hmm….I’m not so sure about that. I have never in my entire time as myth and history teacher experienced any dungeons like this, with secret places, that did not have a secret key hidden around…”

“- But professor where should that key be!? In the wall..a stone should be pushed !??”

“- Yes dear Jack, yes! We should try’n push every stone!”

The professor started to push every stone on the left side of the wall. He pushed and pushed carefully on each stone. Jack shook his head in despair.

“- Professor it’s impossible, why don’t we just push the torches on the wa……!”

While Jack expressed his despair he had taken hold of the right torch closest to the door and suddenly a grinding noise followed by a creaking could be heard. The door opened. There were light on the other side! Unbelief they looked at each other. Electrical lights, shone up the Chamber on the other side of the door. They went inside. A big painting with a man holding the Swedish flag appeared on the right. “Björn co-founder of hattrick” it said. A desk were placed further ahead and the chair behind it were turned away from them. Slowly they walked towards the desk while they studied the walls. Jack mumbled something about Björn and that he left hattrick long time ago and as a founder or rather inventer of the game he were titled HT-Björn.

“- Wait Jack! ‘HT-Björn’ you say !??”

“- Yes !?”

“- Hmm….according to google you said that HTB holds the answer to the hattrick doctrina dolem, right?”

“- Yes !????”

“- It haven’t occurred to you that ‘HT-Björn’ also contains the 3 letters ‘HTB’ !? …and know we are here with a painting of him!? Perhaps Mentor C does not know of the doctrine at all and perhaps Crazy_Lee_No 2 simply took the job in VFJ just to find the doctrine!?”

Stunned Jack stopped. Could it really be that it’s not Mentor C that have the knowledge, but that it’s simply the old co-founder and inventor of Hattrick that have created the doctrine!? It certainly sounded possible!

“- You could be right professor Pawlak!”

“- ….HE IS!”

Who was that? Frightened Jack and professor Pawlak looked around. There were no one in here beside them.

“- Wh…who are you!?”

“- I’m Björn!”

Slowly the chair behind the desk turned around. A middle-aged man with light blond hair appeared.

“- Welcome to my humble home! Though I have an idea, please tell me what brings you here?”

“- Your home!??..”

“- Yes, my home!”

“- Well we got lost down here…our guide lost us..or we lost our guide!”

Professor Pawlak looked at Jack and then approached Björn.

“- What my dear friend Jack try’s to tell you is that we have been looking for the hattrick doctrina dolum….and by coincident we got this far…”

“- I see….And you are?”

“- Krzysztof Pawlak..”

“- Mr Pawlak and Mr Jack…You have come to the right place. I hold the hattrick doctrine…but unfortunately, for you, I hold it in my head!”

Jack and professor Pawlak stood gaping and looked at Björn. He just told them that what they thought would be the biggest discovery ever in hattrick, were placed in the head of the man in front of them and not in a book!

“- Gentlemen please don’t be disappointed! I have a proposal for you…?”

“- okay….?”

“- I will let you know the doctrine on 2 conditions…….One, do never tell anyone about me and my whereabouts! Two, don’t ever tell anyone where you have the knowledge from!….there will be a consequence if you do not comply with the agreement! A fatal consequence! Do we have a deal Mr. Pawlak and Mr Meoff?”

“- You mentioned my last name!? I didn’t tell you that!”

“- Correct Jack, you did not, but I know everything about you guys…That’s why I trust you and offer you the doctrine. Do we have a deal?”

“- ehm…I’m a bit confused. What if we say no?”

“- You will not..”

“- He is right Jack, we will not say no! We agree on your conditions Björn! But how are we going to get the doctrine if it’s not written yet!? Are we going to stay down here?…There are armed men chasing us!”

– ” I know Mr. Pawlak, but don’t worry! They will never find us. Back in 2006 as the Arch Of Triumph were build, I had a secret elevator installed down here. It leads to a place between the trees north of the lake behind the Arch Of Triumph. As I realised that Crazy_Lee_No 2 were looking for the doctrine, I flooded the eastern part of the dungeon to avoid him from getting here, but unfortunately winter came and most of the water from the lake is frozen. He and the so called guide have been searching the dungeon all day long. If they should ever find the hole I have simply blocked the way by a fake wall and deactivated the “torch” door-key. They will never find this place. Never!…..Oh and by the way I didn’t plan to keep you here. In fact I have a house in Gibraltar and we will go there and write the doctrine!

“- Why do you live hear!?”

” Oh Jack….You see, I simply realized after leaving hattrick that I couldn’t live without it! But I kind of burned the bridges behind and the only way to still feel hattrick was to find a place that oozes of hattrick. I choosed the club VFJ together with 23 other clubs and luckily the owner of VFJ, Mentor C, turned out to be a hattrick maniac….Crazy about hattrick, sticking around despite evil forces tried to make him leave…..He is hattrick, just like me! During time I have leaked info about hattrick to him, though he didn’t know that the info came from me. He partly thought he figured it out by himself or that his lab did the job. That’s my way of paying him back for letting me still feel hattrick being so close to VFJ.”



Doctrina VIII

So close!

After what felt like a loooooooong nap, an insistent alarm clock had professor and Jack on their feet and they were now standing in front of the entrance to the old dungeons of VFJ.

The doors was open and the only person around was a freezing man that sat on a small stool with a scarf up to his mouth and his hat pulled down low. For a moment Jack thought that they had gone wrong.

“- Hello there, do you want a tour in the dungeons!? It’s only 50 kroner……ehm…special price 30 kroner!!!”

The man’s misguided perception of Jack’s gaze made him to immediately lower the price. It was too cold to remain quiet here, so it was better to get a lower ticketprice and be in motion.
A bit confused professor Pawlak and Jack looked at each other and then they accepted the offer.

“- Soil erosion in the underground has caused flooding in the east wing, which is also the oldest part of the Arch of Triumph. Unfortunately it means that we can not get into that part of the dungeon. The worst thing though, is that the electricity in the rest of the dungeon does not work at present and therefore we must go with torches …… So here is a torch each, use the torch hanging on the wall to light them up!”

The 3 men went into the dungeon and despite the light from the torches, then the lack of the bit of day light that were still left outside, made the dungeon darker and darker the further they went in. The torches made them able to see about 8-9 feet ahead of them. The guide guided them left at the first crossroad while he told them about the prisoners who had been held here. In one chamber Duke Jacob were held prisoner for 18 years until his death, for disagreeing with the king in a matter. Jack couldn’t help to think what a harsh punishment it was to be held captured in your own castle until you suffered death, just for disagreeing. Thank God his boss at the Bournemouth Gazette did not have those possibilities as Jack was sure that he would have placed him in a dungeon by now if.

They went further and further into the dungeon and after turning right and left several times Professor Pawlak couldn’t help asking the guide if he knew the way out. The guide laughed and said he knew the dungeon like the back of his hand and talked on about old stories from the dungeon. As they turned left at yet a crossroad Jack stopped. With a low voice he asked the guide a question.

“- Tell me Mister…Are we the only one down here!?”

“- No Sir! We are not!…… but beside the rats and us there are absolutely no one else down here!”

They continued. A spurious smile on Jack’s lips spread. He certainly was not happy about the situation. First and foremost he was sure that they had just walked past here a moment ago and also he was sure he had just seen a shadow turning to the right a little further along. Once more Jack stopped. Again he asked the guide with a low, though this time clearly determined, voice.

“- Beside the rats and us are you then sure we are alone down here!??”

“- Of cause Sir! Of cause!”

“- I’m sure I saw a shadow before!”

“- It can’t be, it must be your imagination! We are all alone down here! Were did you see a shadow, let me have a look…”

The guide turned around and walked fast in the direction Jack pointed while Jack and professor Pawlak stood still. The guide stopped 20 feets ahead of them and turned around.

“-There are no one …….arghhhhhhhhhh”

His torch disappeared and he went quiet. Scared Jack and the professor looked at each other. Then they heart fast footsteps coming there way. Several footsteps. “Professor throw the torch and come with me” Jack shouted and they ran as fast as they could. Before Jack threw his torch he saw that just a few meters behind them there were a corridor on the left and with one arm around the professor guiding him, he ran in that direction and stopped just as they got around the corner. Pressed up against the wall the they stood still and quiet while 2 men ran right past them in the corridor they had just swung in from. As the sound of the footsteps out-rang they dared to whisper to each other.

“- I don’t know what is going on here, but I want out!”

“- Calm down Jack! We will find a way out……..Almost every old dungeons have ‘windows’ somewhere in the ceilings to avoid people from getting trapped. Mostly it’s in the outer area so we have to get back to that….”

“- Professor…We have no light so how are we supposed to get out!? Perhaps I can get a bit of light from my cellphone…..oh great….see, it’s almost out of power and there are no signal!”

“-……Look around the corner Jack, I did not see those men holding our torches!?…In fact it scares me a bit they didn’t grab’em! Who are they…Ghosts!!?”

“- He he…C’mone professor! What if……What if they have glasses with night vision!? Perhaps it was Crazy_Lee_No 2 !?? No matter what we have to leave from here now! Let’s grab the torches and see if we can find out!”


Doctrina VII

“Getting there…”

A bit stiff leg the 3 of them got out of the plane. Quickly they got their papers fixed and were on their way out of the airport. Suddenly Crazy Lee stopped Jack and looked at him.

“- You know back in 2004 when the horrific Tsunami hit Thailand, an American couple sailed out at sea to dive before the Tsunami hit. They jumped into the water and there was plenty of underwater power and turbulence. But what worried them the most and gave them the impression that something was wrong, was that there was no fish in the water….”

Jack and Professor Pawlak looked confused at Crazy Lee, but before they could say anything he continued.

“-….That’s how I feel right now! I sense that something big is going on, but I just don’t know what it is!”

“- But we are far inland…I bet we’re safe, don’t you!?”

Jack replied as convincing as he could. Crazy Lee smiled at him in a puzzled way, but his eyes radiated a specific purpose, and then he replied.

“- I’m not thinking of an Tsunami my friend!…..See ya!”

Crazy Lee took his suitcase and walked towards the black limousine that were parked just outside the exit doors in the small airport. The driver had already opened the door and was awaiting him. Professor Pawlak and Jack stood still and looked at him walking away from them.

“- He is on to us Professor!”

“- Yes, it certainly sounds like that!”

“- Professor I wanted to ask you this the last 4 hours…..Do you know any one back in Poland that can go to Crazy Lee’s apartment and through his things, to see if he can find something that can guide us the right way!?..Of cause you must trust him…I mean really trust him!”

Jack awaited professor Pawlak’s reaction as it was a clear illegal act.

“- …..hmm…Yes! My assistent Dorek Lis! He is best around a computer, but I’m sure he also can handle a little home-investigation!”

” Great Professor! Let’s go find a hotel and when we have unpacked, you can call him. When you have called him, we can go get something to eat as I’m really starving right now! When we’re eating I have some ideas about what to do that we can talk about…You know where to start and so on..?”

“- Now that sounds as a good plan, Jack!”

Jack and Professor Pawlak had found a little undisturbed corner at the hotel’s restaurant. Dorek had accepted immediately when the Professor had asked him to do the strange and somewhat unfamiliar job and promised to report back as soon as possible. Jack’s laptop were placed between them on the table and while they ate a plan started to take shape.

“- hmm.. you see professor when I google ‘hattrick doctrine’ the only thing hattrick-related that appears, is ‘Doctrine FC’ an Argentinian club…”

“- What about searching on myth, doctrine and hattrick at the same time?”

“- Well, I’ll try…..let’s see…Hmm…something about ‘HTB’ pops up……Wouv!!!!”

“- What!?….What is it Jack!?”

“- “HTB holds the key to the Doctrina Hat-Dolum!” there’s a line here saying! It’s a so called CHPP program, that’s a program that have been giving permission from the Hattrick Organisation to collect all kind of data from the clubs and players…..”HTB” ..I’ve heard that name before, but…”

Jack’s grimaces clearly showed that his memory failed him, at least right now.

“- Come on Jack, it’s really simple….Google it!”

“- yeah, I know…It’s just that …well never mind, let’s see…”HTB”….Okay…It could be a lot of things….HT-Board, it’s some kind of fora and then there is Hattrick Banden, which means the Hattrick Gang, it’s a fed…and then..wait! The Hattrick Gang holds Mentor C as founder! He also owns VFJ! There it is! That’s the connection, Mentor C holds the answer….at least he knows something…He must!”

“- Are you sure!? I mean at first you said that a possibility could be that Crazy_Lee_No 2 were offering info about the hattrick Doctrine to VFJ and that doesn’t fit very well with Mentor C, the owner of VFJ, is having that knowledge already?”

“- I hear your professor, I do!….But don’t you think it’s to much of an coincident that I find parts of a document saying “HTB holds the key to the Doctrina Hat-Dolum!” and that Mentor C is the founder of a fed named ‘HTB’? Perhapse we have misunderstood everything! Perhaps Crazy Lee isn’t offering info, but trying to steal that info!”

The silence hit the table and the two men just looked at each other without saying anything. Jacks last sentence still rang in their ears. Instead of offering the info about the hattrick doctrine, it seemed a possibility that Crazy Lee were trying to find it, so that he could steal it? After a few thoughtful moments the conversation continued.

“- Professor, whether he is trying to steel it or not, I still want to find it and as it seems like it is here, we have to search in and around VFJ.”

“- If the old dungeons of the Triumph Castle is still around then their must be an access to them some where?”

“- Google is your friend professor! There are guided tours in the dungeons everyday! It start’s at 12.00 am , 15.00 pm and the last tour is at 17.00 pm”

“- Great!…What about an interview with an employee of VFJ!? Not a top member, but a semi-top member perhaps? When talking to him we could try’n get some info out of him..perhaps he knows something about the hattrick doctrine myth!….Or?”

“- There is this guy…Anders Thörntorp…He is their Club-TV host. Perhaps he knows something…I will contact him immediately!

After the meal they went back to their room. The plan was ready. At first they would go to the guided tour in the dungeons at 17:00pm and then having dinner with Anders Thörntorp. Hopefully Dorek Lis had returned with some info before that. After the dinner they would go around the Arch of Triumph to see if they could find some clues. They both layed down for a rest before going to the dungeons of the Triumph Castle. The professor lay with his arms behind his head, staring at the Ceiling.

“- I told Crazy Lee that both you and I are into medieval architecture and still he didn’t say anything about the dungeons of the Triumph Castle!….Perhaps…and there is no need to get excited..but perhaps he didn’t told us that, because that’s where the doctrine is!?”

“- Or perhaps professor… he didn’t say anything about it, because he doesn’t know of it…?”

“..he he….perhaps! All of this ‘perhaps’ reminds me of the good old Doris Day song “perhaps, perhaps, perhaps!” “

Jack really liked that song, though he rather listened to the cover-version of it by ‘Cake’.


Doctrina VI

“Early birds finding corn..”

To gain some time to think it all over, Jack asked Lee if it was okay that he looked through his interview with him, to prepare it for the VFJ blog and after that he would do some work that his boss had sent. His boss had obviously not sent him any work yet, it was still early morning, but it was all to give him time to think.

“- Up here you are free as a bird, you can do as you please!”, Lee said with a big wide smile. He turned on the radio and a pleasant sound of John Denver buzzed out of his headphones.

Now if this riddle really was Lee’s work – where had he found it – who gave it to him? Had he made it up? Jack could remember from the interview of Crazy Lee that he had said something about not being able to go home. He looked through his notes from the interview. There it was!

“… Due to unfortunate and accidental circumstances, I could not come home to ‘Dear old bligthy’, but I am simply thrilled about going to VFJ in Denmark instead!“.

Crazy Lee had talked on about the management structure and exciting initiatives that Mentor C had described for him and quietly the passage had slipped into the background, to finally become almost forgotten. But now, just like a cork, the passage popped back up.

Crazy_Lee_No 2s former employer could perhaps spread some light about why he couldn’t go back. Jack wrote FC Wodkas name on a piece of paper. He also decided to talk with the professor immediately after landing in Denmark to see if he knew any persons back in Poland that could drop by Lee’s apartment to check for further clues. Slowly a plan formed inside his head about what they should do. But still there were this thought, that kept coming back to him more and more intense; Who placed it and what kind of knowledge would there be in a hattrick doctrine? Where did it come from?

It wasn’t like a coach could say a magic word and then the players would perform as if they were divine all of them? Was it something about how to get game engine going your way? Or was it all about money – a treasure at the end of the rainbow? It couldn’t be about magic, because as his old dad always had told him magic is just fooling others with success! It had to be something about knowledge – as by knowledge you could get far in hattrick! Perhaps that’s even the reason why VFJ hired Lee – he had access to knowledge that could give VFJ an advantage? That’s why VFJ hired him…or..Well, it certainly was a good argument for getting a job!

Time literally flew, as Lee prepared for landing at their destination in the southern Denmark. 4½ hour of flight were about to end. The turbulence during the descent got the professor to wake up. He seemed genuinely fresh, so maybe he had actually been tired, just as he had said. A slowly drop of altitude and the sound of the wheels hitting the ground made the Cessna 172R aircraft come to a smooth landing at the Vojens Airport.


Doctrina V

“Early birds finding corn..”

It was 07:00 o’clock sharp next morning as professor Pawlaks taxi parked in front of the lovely inn were he and Jack split up last night. The only sound around was from the cars idling and the soft and low music that came out through the window from the drivers seed. Its cosiness fitted perfectly to the mild morning sun, which was still low, and cast an orange glow over the buildings in the city. The kids playing around the pond from yesterday were gone and the water was calm and also with an orange glow. It’s almost like going around in an orange orchard, Jack thought to himself. The driver got out and took Jack’s lone suitcase and threw it in the trunk, while Jack got into the back seat next to the professor.

“- Good morning professor Pawlak, have you slept well?”

The professor nodded his head and replied with a raspy voice, where after he told the driver to go to the small local airport, just outside town. While the professor said that he had a good nights sleep, Jack had trouble sleeping last night. At first it was the bed – hard as stone – but then he came to think of all the issues that arose yesterday, about the dangfounded riddle.

The trace led to Denmark, but what when they arrived – where should they look for the doctrine? The Arch of Triumph is a big stadium. At last he got up and turned on his computer, to look at the internet to find information about The Arch Of Triumph and he got rather surprised as he found out that the stadium was build on the ruins of the so called ‘Triumph Castle’. The owner of VFJ, Mentor C, bought the ruins 7 years ago and builded The Arch Of Triumph on top of it. What a waste of history was his first thought, but the fact that the stadium were builded on top of ruins gave him hope for were to look.

Despite saying differently earlier, the professor must have had a bit of troubles to sleep last night to, as Jack had to wake him when they arrived at the small airport, just 5 minutes later. They got off the taxi and walked straight out to the little Cessna 172R aircraft where Crazy_Lee_No 2 already stood and waited for them. The Cessna 172R was a small 4-persons aircraft with 20hp more than the 172S model that only had 160hp – and it was considered a modern aircraft for the discerning customer. The profile matched Crazy Lee completely as he stood there with his leather flying jacket, scarf and sunglasses and touched, almost massaged his stubble on his neck with his right hand as he looked up at the sun.

“- Morning gents, we’re truly early birds, aren’t we” he said and smiled. “We can leave in a second, I just got her refueled and as soon as Petr have seen our papers we’re off to Denmark!”

10 minutes later, they sped along the runway and with a gentle curve and a suction in the stomach, the plane took off. After reaching the right flight altitude, they could see the ruins of the Ogrodzieniec castle and the village behind them, as small lego-bricks in the horizon. The sky was all blue and an amazing sight of the sun turning completely yellow met them. Now they were ready for the next 4½ hours of flight.

Suddenly Crazy_Lee_No 2 asked professor Pawlak something in polish.

“- Dlaczego idziesz do Danii?”

“- oh..ehmm.. … Będziemy studiować jakąś średniowieczną architekturę…to wspólne hobby mamy”

Crazy_Lee_No 2 looked back at Jack with a strange look. Then he smiled and said; “Well, didn’t you guys go to the Ogrodzieniec castle then?”

Jack looked at him for a second. He couldn’t let go of the strange feeling he felt about Crazy_Lee_No 2 speaking polish with professor Pawlak. He replied.

“- Sure, I were there yesterday…”

“-What a coincidence! After the interview yesterday I went out there to!”

The professor seemed to have seen the bewildered eyes Jack showed when they spoke polish just before.

“- Jack, I just told Lee about our common interest in medieval architecture…in polish, a minute ago…”

“oh…I see that’s what the polish talk was about….Tell me Lee, when were you at the castle yesterday?…ehmm I’m just curious..perhaps you saw me?”

Crazy_Lee_No 2 smiled as he replied.

“No Jack, I did not see you, I were a little busy yesterday as I had some shopping to do and some laundry to fix, before going to Denmark today, so I didn’t stay there for very long”

The last sentence made Jack pay attention. Whether it was his background as journalist or just plain gut feeling, he didn’t know, but something told him that he should ask a bit more about Lee’s doings yesterday. Casually, Jack began to talk about the wonderful meal he had at the inn last night.

“…..What about you Lee? Did you get a good T-bone steak like me to?”, he said with a calm smile.

“- Nope, I got some ham and a glass of milk, it were easier, as I also had to pack for today.”

Professor Pawlak looked at Jack with anxious eyes and it caught the attention of Lee.

“Is something wrong professor?” Lee said.

“No, I’m just tired, I haven’t slept that well last night…Is it okay with you guys if I take a nap?”

“- No problem professor” said Lee and Jack nodded his head to agree. The professor had just told Jack in the taxi that he slept fine last night, though he were a bit sleepy in the taxi on the way to the airport, Jack thought – and he sensed that the professor had put two and two together. Saying he was tired was just his way of ensuring he wouldn’t say anything stupid.

The thoughts whirled through Jacks head – Lee just told them, that practically everything that was written on the shopping list Jack had found yesterday, he bought yesterday. Ham, milk, doing the laundry which fitted well with the washing powder and fabric softener from the list.

Was Crazy_Lee_No 2 the man who wrote the riddle? He certainly new something about it!


Doctrina (IV)

“A piece of paper”

Jack had a brilliant idea, but first he had to convince his boss that he was on to something big. Something that was big enough to let him stay away from the newspaper for at least a few more days. At first it had been difficult enough for Jack’s boss, Joe Hartman, to let him do this freelance job in Poland and the deal was 2 days off and then straight back to the Bournemouth Gazette! Now, as Jack sat and waited for his boss to pick up the phone, he thought about the plan he and professor Pawlak had made earlier today, before they split up at the lovely inn.

The professor and he would go to Denmark together and to save his Newspaper money, that’s something his boss always appreciates, he had already made a deal with Crazy_Lee_No 2, to take them along in his cessna plane tomorrow, when he flew back to Denmark. That meant free transport all the way from Poland to their destination in Denmark. Jack was sure that it was a strong argument, beside the fact that he really sensed something big waited for them in Denmark.

“- Bournemouth Gazette, Joe Hartman speaking….”

“-♪ Hey Joe, don’t let me down….♫…..It’s me Jack!”

Jack was unsure if it was the right strategy he was using by combining a bit of Hendrix and the Beatles, but he knew that Joe liked a good laugh – although it was mostly on behalf of others.

“You sing as lousy as you write, Jack! ..and the answer is NO! You have to get straight back, as half of the office is seek! That Bloody flu!”

“But Joe…”

“No ‘but’! We had a deal and we are very understaffed! I have a bloody paper to run and although that this is the brave new times, the stories don’t right them self, do they!? So get back here or get fired!”

Though the silence only lasted for a few seconds, several thoughts went through Jacks mind. Should he quit his job? Should he give a damn about it and go to Denmark – and then get fired immediately? Should he leave this amazing story that he knew he were about to discover!?? Or should he try and convince his boss Joe Hartman, to let him go to Denmark? He gave it one last shot!

“I hear you loud and clear, Joe – and of cause I will get straight back to England…But just tell me this…..If I say….

Doctrina hat-dolum
I can tell you the answers,
but I cannot speak,
I can make you see,
though I have no eyes
Where you find me
is a mystery.
I’m not as fast as an arrow
and when I triumph I’m not a win
but if you combine me you know where to begin”

…it was written on a piece of paper that I found in the Ogrodzieniec castle, that I visited earlier today…What do you then say!?)

Silence! Then Jack heard his boss make a few deep breaths, before replying..

“…then I say that who ever wrote this is first of all better at rhyming than I am and second of all it’s a rhyme about a hattrick doctrine which could be found in Paris at the Arch of Triumph!…But still Jack, we are heavily understaffed at the moment – I can’t let you go there..It’s also to expensive to go to Paris!”

The last sentence Joe Hartman mumbled and that gave Jack a glimmer of hope. “.It’s also to expensive to go to Paris!”, it’s obvious that he is interested, Jack thought to himself.

“Joe…I’m really impressed by your riddle skills! But it’s not in Paris and the expenses is on me! I’ll pay for everything myself!…You could even mail me some work I can do while I’m away!?”

“….It really has to be important to you, Jack, since you are willing to both pay for everything and do some extra work!?”

Jack sensed that his boss was almost hooked, he only needed a tiny inch yet, before the deal was sealed. But Jack just couldn’t help it as he felt he had momentum..

“Just give me 5 days and I’ll be back…”

“Don’t you push it Jack! I’ll give you 2 days and then you’ll be bloody straight back in Bournemouth! Are we clear!??………Now tell me Jack, were are you going?”

“Yes, we are clear….2 days it is!..Denmark!”


Doctrina (III)

A piece of paper…”

Jack Meoff and professor Pawlak are having tea in the lovely inn.

– Well, me to professor…It’s a person holding some kind of doctrine. What the doctrine is about I d….

Professor Pawlak instantly interrupted Jack.

– No Jack, you are going in a wrong direction! Let’s take the title first…..’Hat dolum’ which usually have a hyphen between them, means ‘hattrick’. That means that “The legend about Doctrina hat dolum” means ‘the Hattrick Doctrine! Reading the riddle straight forward it’s clear that the doctrine contains information about hattrick….But I don’t know what hattrick is, do you Jack!?

– Do I know what hattrick is!? HA!… You bet I do professor!… That’s life! It’s life through green and yellow colours and in fact it’s the reason why I’m in Poland at the moment! Hattrick is soccer and soccer is liiiiiiife!

Astounded the professor looked back at Jack, by his sudden and enthusiastic tone.

Oh my God, Jack! I’m glad that you are so excited about life…. Sometimes it’s hard for an old fart like me, to feel that!” the professor said while laughing. The professor folded his fingers under his chin and said, “Well then, Jack, this is a doctrine about life and how to live it! It most be the bible!

– Nahh professor, let’s keep it as a doctrine about hattrick….But I need to find the man that has it!

Confused the professor looked back at him as he said it wasn’t the bible, but about hattrick. But the professor decided to let it go as Jack seemed to know what he talked about.

Dear Jack, it’s not a man, it’s a book! The first part of the text tells you it’s a book…

“I can tell you the answers, but I cannot speak, I can make you see, though I have no eyes”

it all fits on a book. Of cause, theoretically it could be a man, but I think it’s a book! Then in the middle of the riddle you are told that to find the book, you have to solve the riddle in the last part of the text! Hmm….I know one word that fits with varieties of arrow and triumph …Arrow could be archery and archery could be arch…That means that you get the word ‘Arch of Triumph’….So call your boss and tell him you will be a bit late as you are going to Paris!

– Paris!??? Why on earth should I go to Paris?

Though I’m a professor in History & Myths, it doesn’t mean that I don’t know Geography my friend! We all know that the Arch of Triumph is in Paris! Do we not!?

The words came in a slightly grumpy tone by the professor, since it was beyond any doubt that he was right. Jack threw his arms out to the side and with the warmest smile he could show he explained himself.

My dear friend Pawlak, of cause there is no doubt that ‘the Arch of Triumph’ are in Paris, but since this has to do with hattrick, I’m very sure that we have to look for names in that part of the world! In fact the reason why I’m here, is because of a hattrick club which stadium carries that exact name ‘Arch Of Triumph’….That club is VFJ and it’s in Denmark.

Doctrina hat-dolum
Brooding with narrowed eyes the professor looked intently at Jack. After a few thoughtful seconds, he smiled.

Jack, this is the second time I’m sorry this afternoon! It makes perfect sense what you are telling me, though, I must admit, I’m not sure I understand everything about this ‘hattrick’ thing!……But let me try….This paper is about a hattrick doctrine, a book, which could be found at ‘the Arch Of Triumph’ ….in Denmark! Right?

Yes professor, YES!


Doctrina (II)

A piece of paper…”

Professor Pawlak, who’s full name were Krzysztof Pawlak, took out his glasses, mumbled a few words and said “Young man, this is a shopping list! 2 liters of milk, 1 bread, ham, butter, detergent, fabric softener …There is probably a young man that have had a hard time coming back to his mom, telling her he lost the shopping list!..Is this what you wanted me to come here for!?” he snapped while he looked back, a little sour, at Jack.

Jack couldn’t help to smile inside as the professor seemed to think he wanted him to translate a shopping list. Jack smiled and said, “No, of cause not professor Pawlak! I don’t want you to translate a shopping list. Take a look at the paper again with this!“. Jack gave him a small microscope and the professor took it, with a rather surprised look at his face. He placed the microscope and studied the paper again.

hmm……hehemm……..oh do cholery……….aha!

The professor took a nip of his tea, but still his voice were as dry as before when he started to speak. “I’m sorry, this is of cause not just a shopping list!….. When I look in the mirror I can see my grey hair, the cane in my right hand and the wrinkles on my skin. What I do not see is that my eyes are just as old!“. He stopped for a while and took a nip of his tea again.
Now I understand why you contacted me, Jack! This is definitely a riddle – and though it’s not an ancient riddle, then it for sure has to do with the ancient times!

The professor began to read up…

The legend about Doctrina hat dolum

I can tell you the answers,
but I cannot speak,
I can make you see,
though I have no eyes
Where you find me
is a mystery.
I’m not as fast as an arrow
and when I triumph I’m not a win
but if you combine me you know where to begin”

Krzysztof Pawlak was a professor in history and myths. Jack had often met and talked with the professor about the medieval castles and histories, back in England and through their friendship he have learned that Professor Pawlak also has a great knowledge about riddles. That’s why Jack had contacted him.

So professor, before talking about the riddle it self, I would like to know how an English texted riddle have landed on a polish shopping list? Do you have any idea?

No, I’m afraid I don’t…But I do have an idea about what this riddle is about!