Hattrick United

A wicked plot has been uncovered by local Oceanian and Australian Government outlets Today in what seems to be the work of a brand new Hattrick ‘Underworld’, ‘Secret Service’ or possibly better known as an ‘Australian Mafia’…

And this information has then been leaked to the rest of the Australian Press via the Sky News Channel here on our Subscription Television market, infact such a big story and or event that this has become in such a short space of time, that Sky News has created its very own Digital Channel dedicated to this story and it’s running 24/7 as we speak.

This below as we cut into its LIVE broadcast, is 1 such story as told by 1 of its more experienced reporters..

“It is believed to be involved with the ongoing saga that is the HTUM Fed Blog Wars, and basically the heart of the issue is the current Season 3 of the HTUM FED Golden League..

We found out today that Season 3 has reached ‘Breaking Point’ with the hype at its max, plus lies, lies and more damn lies.. have been told by many about all sorts of issues, 1 of which may have been taken to heart by 1 of its less active bloggers in manager WozzaNoski, General Manager and Owner of EVIL INCORPORATED in Oceanian Div V.

Apparently a Senior HTUM blogger who goes by the name of ‘leebebbs’ described him as a ‘female’ and as you can imagine WozzaNoski has … as we believe.. taken matters into his own hands..

These Blog Wars have stretched out over many different nations and HTUM blogs of late and we feel it wont be coming to an end anytime soon… unless… as we believe.. a CATASTROPHIC EVENT may be unfolding over in Europe as we speak…

Over the last few days we have captured many photographs and recorded many conversations via our listening devices, that involved the ‘masterminds’ of this so called ‘Australian Mafia’..

Sunday just gone we saw manager WozzaNoski quickly turn his Super-Screen off and leave his ‘finely furnished’ owners box at the Somerville Super Stadium in a hurry straight after the hardly contested 2-1 away win against Portsea Aggies, we had our crew follow where he went, which was no mean feat in itself as WozzaNoski’s ‘Pimped-Up’ 2006 Blue Dodge Caliber goes … ‘like a bullet!’ 1 crew member said.. Mr Noski’s destination was to manager essenn of the Pig Hunters’ private residence up in the inner Eastern Suburbs of the city of Melbourne where once inside curtains were closed and the house was switched into darkness, where it is to believed they both went downstairs into the basement where EVIL plans were made of which involved a cunning plan with many various Oceanian figures playing a part.. this took well over 3 hours..

WozzaNoski then departed much more calmly and with a truly EVIL look on his face, a look that was about to inflict much pain on its target!

His next move was back to his own residence for the evening, where he as always, produces The OH Show for many listeners and downloaders from the nation of Oceania and of course many cult followers around HT Global aswell.. Unfortunately we could not tune into this Episode LIVE as there seemed to be a technology breakdown of some sorts either at his end or our end we are not quite sure.. but as we speak we have more of our young crew members listening to the recently uploaded podcast listening intently to hopefully hear some of these nasty plans, and get a feel for what mood Mr Noski was in that evening..

In other news.. we woke up early Monday morning to find WozzaNoski on the charge again, and left his private residence this time in a ‘state of the art’ Chopper (helicopter)! But interestingly, waiting beside the Chopper for his arrival was a few of his EVIL INC players and official.. these were as follows..

Mario Federico del Muto the Club Secretary… Gergely ‘Sniffer’ Kovacs, and freak young wing-backs in Radu ‘Radio’ Oarga, and Elias ‘Sniper’ Leonhard… appropriate nicknames and useful outside talents for such an occasion we thought, so we kept up with the chase and story as best we could…

… but before we do, we should expand on what we know about this extra official and 3 players..

- Mario the Club Secretary is great with numbers and an expert organiser of events with many University degrees in such areas.. we believe he is acting as Mr Noski’s ‘personal aid’ and ‘right hand man’, he is also the main man behind the Clubs accounts and has alot of his own personal funds at his disposal..
- Gergely ‘Sniffer’ Kovacs is the main centre-back for the team but also has a fine nose for certain products.. while never proven, it is rumoured that Gergely is snorting cocaine on a regular basis, but with playing at such low levels, drug tests have never been performed.. Gergely also has many contacts in Europe, especially Hungary, again where other suspicious acts have been occurring..
- Radu ‘Radio’ Oarga is the current ‘Editor’ of The OH Show and has a technology background in communications and software, and again while not proven we believe he is behind a major computer hacking network in south east Asia and Europe..
- Elias ‘Sniper’ Leonhard is the main Set Piece taker at the club and a promising young wingback with a German background, dating back to the ‘Hitler’ days, his other passions are collecting guns and he has been taking regular Sniper lessons of late, of course sponsored by the Royal Australian Defence Force, infact the main Commando’s themselves the famous SAS Troops!

The Chopper that these gentlemen were in, flew off to the Tullamarine Melbourne Airport where a private jet was waiting on the tarmac, during the unloading of this Chopper we managed to get a glimpse of about 10 large black briefcases being handed down a line and into the private jet.. we have reason to believe that these may contain either alot of money or extremely volatile chemicals for making bombs, and damn big bombs too, or worse yet.. both!
Mario the Secretary seemed to be overly cautious about the handling of these pointing and shouting what to do and where to put them and in what fashion.. as this was unfolding we noticed Mr Noski strapped into the front passenger seat of this private jet with arms folded and an EVIL look on his face again, peering off into the distance, right where the end of the runway was, you could just tell he wanted to be away from here and real soon! We managed to stay out of sight in the distant trees and caught all this on tape.

As the jet took off we quickly went to the Air-Marshall’s office to find out where this jet was off to..
he mentioned Perth Airport, in the Australian State of Western Australia.. we put 2 and 2 together for this story and immediately thought of fellow Golden League Manager BrinChaser from the team of Bellevue Barrage, the Air-Marshall piped-up again and mentioned something about an ‘Armoury’ and we said ‘oh dear’ :/ …

2 News reporters were then put on the case from the city of Perth where they tracked back to the home stadium of the Barrage… called ‘The Armoury’, to find both managers in lengthy discussions.. Mr BrinChaser has a long history in weapons, the military and bomb making… and through a slightly open window we could notice Brin opening 1 of those black briefcases and with a big smile on his face and gave a big nod of approval..

Events seemed to be going well thus far for Mr Noski and his EVIL plan for revenge against other European managers in the HTUM Golden League.. Before WozzaNoski left the Armoury, Brin handed him a large piece of rolled up paper, with what seemed to be plans of some description.. we think stadium plans or headquarter plans, or just building plans etc… WozzaNoski quickly looked it over and gave Brin the big thumbs up!

Mr Noski then left immediately in a black bullet proof limousine where again they went straight back to the local Perth Airport and to the private jet, apparently it was being refueled while Mr Noski was away on business with BrinChaser.. so with a ready plane, and plans going well, they took off again but this time flew across Australia again but to Sydney this time… but here we thought… why Sydney???

It wasn’t until it clicked that 1 of the Golden League groups involves another Oceanian manager in Robert_SWS from a club called Rosemeadow Royals… based in a suburban town called Rosemeadow in Sydney.. this could infact be the final member of the Australian Mafia… or is he…???

Waiting on the Sydney tarmac was the great man himself, manager extrordinaire Robert_SWS waiting for Mr Noski to land and greet him.. and in what seemed the briefest meeting of all so far.. WozzaNoski stepped out of the plane and handed Robert a small disk, a USB-drive we believe and an overflowing envelope with a tinge of green popping out as we believe that to be Australian $100 notes… and lots of them.. then a quick handshake and again the plane door was closed and it took off with Robert waving goodbye on the ground… what could possibly be going on here we thought!?…

From their the plane was well and truly away again, but this time we had no idea where they were heading, we tried asking more local Air-Marshall’s without luck in what seems to be an occasion where they have been payed to say nothing…

The following day (Tuesday) the plane touched down at Heathrow Airport London with what seemed to be a media circus gathering at an adjacent tarmac, little did they know that a real story was unfolding right before their eyes! When the plane finally came to a stop just infront of another 3 black bullet proof limousines with a series of tall men wearing dark suits and dark glasses standing by their side..
… out-stepped Elias ‘Sniper’ Leonhard and Secretary Mario.. where they both hopped into 1 of the limo’s and quickly sped away in 1 direction, while almost hitting the standing public on their way out of the Airport area… after questions were asked of the public.. we found out that there seemed to be 2 briefcases inside that limo with also 1 large tripod type tool…. could it be that ‘Sniper’ is now in possession of his tools of the trade which will help complete this revenge!? 1 young woman said they were heading in a north west direction… and fast….!

While the other remaining 2 Limo’s were for WozzaNoski himself and also ‘Radio’ and ‘Sniffer’…

Radio and Sniffer made a v-line straight to the other end of the Heathrow Airport where they boarded another light plane and it’s believed they are heading for Odense (Denmark), home of the Golden League’s MS Odense and manager Hojris.. this pairing seemed much more calm and prepared for their upcoming purpose.. While another local airport employee mentioned seeing 8 briefcases being loaded into that particular limo and he said he got close enough to here a ‘ticking noise’ coming from 1 of the briefcases…! Could it be that a timer has been set..? could it be an explosive?

WozzaNoski’s Limo was driving again in a completely different direction to the others, he was alone other than with his allocated driver, but seemed almost in a ZEN like state of mind, completely at peace… there were no briefcases with Woz though, just what seemed to be an ‘overnight bag’ with them travelling in a south west direction away from Heathrow Airport…

Where is WozzaNoski going exactly…?
What entails for ‘Radio’ and ‘Sniffer’…?
What entails for Mario the Secretary and ‘Sniper’…?”

…. to be continued ….

How could it be so?

Hattrick Season 36 here in Oceania for those of us down at EVIL INCORPORATED (including myself WozzaNoski…) has been filled with so many glorious and not so glorious events… and yet as the above headline suggests… I am out of words.. I can not explain it… or can I…? haha

I have been a very busy manager over the last 2 months, dabbling my hands into many different hattrick features.. which has resulted in many weeks in a row of very little, if not no blog postings at all.. and this needs to be rectified as soon as possible, for the good of all fans / supporters of WozzaNoski and EVIL INC.

So what’s been happening down in the EVIL’ish world of WozzaNoski over the last 2 months you ask?

Well…

- The SEN 1116 Fans Federation Pride Cup has been in full swing over many weeks now and right now is at the final stages… today the 2 Semi-Finals were played, winners were grinners and so they move onto next weeks Final and the losers move onto their 3rd place playoff match..
So a big shout-out must go to managers Dough_Boy and his Seaford FC for again making our Cups last 4, unfortunately he and his team were knocked out in a shock result, that has many of us based in the federation baffled at how the HT Match Engine could provide their opponents.. the Portsea Aggies and manager sperkins with progression to this Famous Cup Final…

While the other Semi included manager >b>hihi005and his FC Hihi taking out a fantastic come from behind victory against manager intone and his aussie hammer.
So it all comes down to the Final next Wednesday afternoon where an Oceanian Div III club will come up against an up and coming Oceanian Div V club, it will be possibly the last time we see the Portsea Aggies in this form as they have briefly stated in the forums of a rebuild and Division drop at season’s end..
So we wish both teams all the best in their quest to win some silverware!

- The next area we have been focusing on is the emergence of fame that our players are recieving from outside the club lately… we all know that each and every squad member is highly valued ‘in-house’… but while the season has progressed many of the players have been doing many media roles, appearing in many website advertisements, attending many different award ceremonies, and most importantly.. making their international debut’s.. and starring in the process!
These include Tommie ‘Tinkerbell’ Nikau for his various Oceanian U-20 NT Caps in some friendlies and at the recent World Cup Group Stage! Tinkerbell has also just returned home via our clubs Private Jet from the HT nation of Denmark, where the HTUM FED Awards were held, with Tinkerbell winning the ‘Best Defender’ Category.. so a massive Congratulations to him for that..
Even Alexander ‘Bobblehead’ Prühn has been appearing in some recent HTUM Fed / HU-Press Blog advertising campaigns with the feature of that being ‘hats for bobbleheads’… you can see his handy work at this following site in the top right hand corner flicker advertisements.. http://hu-press.blogspot.com/ , and let’s not forget the current coach Grigory Khoteev who has been running around to many different Oceanian media outlets being interviewed, conducting press releases about EVIL INC. and just drumming up extra income for the club through sponsorship etc…

- In other news, EVIL INC. is back playing regular HTUM FED Golden League games against fellow HTUM Fed members… after finishing up in the SEN FED Cup a few weeks back now… Oceanian Pride is on the line in the Golden League… I just wish a few other OC managers would participate and get the results that we at EVIL INC. have been getting, as let’s face it… Oceania – per capita… is quite clearly the best HT nation on the planet! so therefore should be dominating the Golden League on all facets haha
Each Wednesday for the rest of the season will be dedicated to this Golden League in order to accumulate as many points as possible, so that next season we can pounce on the early front-runners! For more information on this great concept.. please visit this following link… http://officialgoldenleague.blogspot.com/

- Another CHPP feature that I rate highly is HTEV.org… and I have become massively addicted to it lately, in not only checking my own teams rankings and weekly changes, and what actually infuences those changes, but getting down to the nitty gritty and heavily scouting my opponents and fellow Oceanian managers and their own progressions in the game of hattrick! It really is a unique website and sensational statistical analysis.. We down at EVIL INC. are currently ranked…
194861 in the World… 864 in Oceania… with a team total ELO of 2176… well up on the same stage last season!

- The next CHPP product recently released is HATSTATS found over at … http://www.hatstats.net/ another useful stats site that features many awesome things but the very area that I regularly focus on at this site is the constant updating feature that tells us where we may be loacted next season depending on promotion and relegation and qualifier spots… and so far after 13 weeks of this current season I am very happy with our potential outcome and opponent to sort all these areas out! We just can’t wait for seasons end!

- And probably the biggest distraction away from blogging regularly is The OH Show… as many of you reading this may be aware… it’s back and bigger than ever! We had a lull period their a while back.. but this season we have been pumping out the episodes on a weekly basis, all of them have been great and lots of fun, the most pleasing aspect is the great feedback we get from the listeners and downloads… massive amounts of people enjoy it, and we see it getting bigger real soon, with possible expansion projects in discussion as we speak!

Various duties with The OH Show include the updating of our shows wordpress visual website… just the last 2 weeks we have been lucky enough to have the logo/banner making talents of Denmark manager Cuomos at our disposal, and he has created 3 awesome new images for us to use on our sites and as a logo for the Tournies! We have given many thanks, but here’s another 1 Cuomos, you’re a legend mate, so thanks! You can see his talents on show over at… http://theohshow.wordpress.com/ After all that was conpleted .. it was time to cruise over to our shows old Forum website where it has become a tad dormant of late, so there were a few loose ends I needed to tie up with that, updating some threads over their, and doing some admin duties behind the scenes for it… but now I’m happy to report that that is flying along… for those interested.. it’s a free to join forum based solely around our show and it has 51 current members in their posting away! Visit… http://www.theohshow.com/ and become a member to view what people are chatting about! Even our shows twitter feed has been getting a hammering daily now, with all show updates and news from the Oceanian forums posted/tweeted! So if you are a tech savvy person and have a twitter account then do yourself a favour and follow The OH Show! https://twitter.com/#!/htohshow is where to do it!

- Of course there is also the daily updates filtering through from this … my own clubs blog where I have many updateable pages with various bits of club info… like match details, player details, club details etc etc… there is so much on offer on my blog that it can often take a couple of hours a day to update it all… hard work.. but someone’s gotta do it! haha But let’s hope that over the next few weeks we see some more posts on this blog for you all to read and comment on!

- The home of The OH Show which is netGameRadio… is also heading for changes… as it looks certain now that I, WozzaNoski will be getting his hands even dirtier on it, with myself recieving new admin style buttons to use where I can play similar roles to what jaydageezer does each week, where has has inside access to the website and what it can and can’t stream, music wise and show wise… so stay tuned for ya good mate Woz to start hosting an extra show or 3 per week, on not just hattrick related stuff … but regular radio type gigs! I am looking forward to learning all this type of stuff and providing you with extra options each week.

- and lastly, but most importantly… is the fact that EVIL INCORPORATED is currently sitting atop of our Sunday Series with 1 game remaining for the season, so we plan to win the last game and take the title trophy with us, with then intentions of playing a promotion qualifier the following week! Many of our goals have been met so far, with a few to go, but all are very achievable! So many hours a week has been used for all those issues at club level, to give ourselves the best chance! The fans of the club are currently High on Life and have been loving how this season has been panning out, so we thank them for sticking by us, and we hope to bring them some silverware and a crack at a higher level of play next season!

anyways… I hope that all gives you some news as to what Woz has been upto this season, I hope many of it continues, but with the extra added HTU blog posts aswell moving forward!

Cheers, WozzaNoski over and out!

EVIL INCORPORATED’s List Manager (Mr Gloslandervic) and Club Owner ‘WozzaNoski’ have been extremely active over the last 24-48 hours!

Firstly.. It was stated many months ago now that we are in the process of creating a “Long Shot Golden Generation” down at EVIL INC. and while that is still in full swing, today it was all about a different section of the team which involved the sale of a promising young Youth Academy player and the purchace of our new #1 Goalkeeper.

For the last 5-6 months now we have been nurturing our most famously talented scouted youth player in the name of Lachlan Aporo.. “26-11-2011, 01.10 Was scouted and recruited by Julian Nicodemou for Woz’s Fanatics U19′s…” was the date, time and the particular scout who was lucky enough to bring the young lad to the then Woz’s Fanatics, and for that ‘Julian the Scout’ has been Officially Knighted down at EVIL INC. He is always the first scout to be called upon each and every Saturday morning.. and never lets us down!

Lachlan Aporo came to us with with a ‘passable’ overall comment, and ‘excellent’ max potential as a Playmaker, it wasn’t until a week or 2 later that we discovered a potential ‘solid’ max in Wing skill aswell… and then to boot, another 2 weeks after that, we again discovered a potential max defending skill of ‘solid’… a truly amazing player, almost a once in a lifetime talent! And I WozzaNoski was licking my lips with anticipation, and then scratching my head with concern on how to max all those skills as best I could and as quickly as I could. In the end that was all impossible in the time required, but this below is what we got him to by promotion date… and before I continue.. I must add that the reason why he wasn’t promoted to the senior list at 17 years old and 0 days was due to the fact that we had 2 extra YA games in 2 days immediately post his 17th birthday! So we as management collectively decided to postpone his promotion so that he could get the extra YA training and a potential ‘pop’ in his PM skills… which thankfully eventuated perfectly..

So now I would like to introduce to you all.. the stats that Lachlan Aporo has on his resume upon promotion at 17 years old and 4 days…

Lachlan Aporo (347492052)
17 years and 4 days, Next birthday: 22-07-2012
Nationality: Oceania
In passable form, weak stamina.
A nasty fellow who is tranquil and upright.
Has disastrous experience and poor leadership.
Has divine loyalty.
Owner: EVIL INCORPORATED (since 05-04-2012 (7/48), 0d)
Total Skill Index (TSI): 1 630
Wage: 900 AU$/week 14 400 AU$/season
Warnings: 0
Injuries: Healthy
HTMS Points: Ability: 355 / Potential: 1991

Deadline: 08-04-2012 15.48 (7/36)
Asking price: 448 000 AU$

So all in all a marvellous talent, 1 that we down at EVIL INC are extremely proud to have produced. The end sale price was 1 that we were ecstatic about, way above what we were expecting.. we thought a fair price would be approx $1 million AU, but he sold for 2 082 000 AU$ which ended up being very lucrative for our club.. and I must give thanks to all the managers/clubs that showed genuine interest in Lachy during the bidding process, with a few top quality people from Oceania helping bump the price up, and even a couple of international people had a snoop around or 2.. Already he seems to have settled in well at his new club called
‘Nait soezen.. deurbroezen’ a relatively new Dutch club that has already given him a player announcement of “G’day mate, howaya” so we wish him well and hope that the new owners plan to fully focus on this Oceanian talent and give him a weekly full 100% training spot on their roster, so that it gives Lachy the best possible chance at not only increasing his monetary value, but gives him a chance at representing his imaginary nation!

The next bit of news that we would like to announce is that again over the last 6 months or so we have been patient, but still intentionally looking on the Transfer List for a back-up Keeper or preferrably a new #1 Goalkeeper that can rotate with current EVIL INC Keeper Iginio Grassivaro, and we make no apoligies for wanting genuine player depth in all areas of the playing roster.. and today we found that very player.. and to boot he has the added bonus of much higher than expected Experience and Leadership qualities, both of which are handy enough that can evolve into being a club Senior Coach/Trainer someday! Another reason why I WozzaNoski brought in Mr Gloslandervic as our clubs List Manager, as he is an Economics Expert, knows a talent when he see’s 1, and can bring cheap but valuable experienced players to the club.

So with the funds that were received from our recent home league series game against Rowville Fc on Sunday, which amounted to approx $810,000 AU, plus the whopping $2 million AU we got for Lachy, plus what we already had in the clubs coffers.. it was time to pounce on this following player…

Ante Diklan (181505123)
32 years and 66 days, Next birthday: 25-05-2012
Nationality: Croatia
In solid form, passable stamina.
A pleasant guy who is temperamental and upright.
Has brilliant experience and solid leadership.
Has disastrous loyalty.
Owner: EVIL INCORPORATED (since 08-04-2012 (7/48), 1d)
Total Skill Index (TSI): 26 950
Wage: 18 192 AU$ (15 160 AU$)/week including 20% bonus 291 072 AU$/season
Warnings: 0
Injuries: Healthy
HTMS Points: Ability: 466 / Potential: -102

Purchase Price = 3 793 000 AU$

As you can see, a very handy Goalkeeper that is ever so slightly better than our current… so having the 2 to be working in tandem each week is going to cause many opposition teams many headaches indeed! With the skills Ante currently has at his disposal, we feel we can get atleast 3-4 further seasons out of him as a player then either promote him as our own clubs Coach/Trainer or sell him off to a club who requires their own new Coach! So his monetary value wont deppreciate too much during the few seasons at our club! As lets face it… HT is all about accumulating as much cash as you can and as quickly as you can! And by bringing in such types of players / future coaches provides us with this option longterm.. So while we are grateful of being in a position to acquire such players.. we certainly couldn’t do it without the expertise of Mr Gloslandervic! He alone has revolutionised our Club! and for that we give thanks!

EVIL INCORPORATED and WozzaNoski signing out!